Miscellaneous: Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided...

By nocakeforyou! - 15/03/2011 13:11

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 212

You deserved it 14 071

Halloween: Terror and Laughter
Discover stories that combine fright and humor for an unforgettably funny Halloween. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Happy anniversary!

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 226

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 92

By Singlewife - 23/03/2019 22:00

Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house. And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere. etc. and this isn’t the first time. I clean up every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 383

You deserved it 1 597

By Zoey - 09/02/2012 15:17 - Canada

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 841

You deserved it 6 185

By honeymoonisover - 28/06/2009 16:05 - United States

Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 492

You deserved it 11 768

By Anonymous - 12/06/2014 05:02 - United States - Kansas City

Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 857

You deserved it 10 830

By Anonymous - 19/11/2015 14:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 657

You deserved it 2 027

By Anonymous - 31/01/2014 16:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 952

You deserved it 4 542

By Helen - 10/11/2012 10:15 - United States - Pine Bluff

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 068

You deserved it 3 087

By Screwed - 07/08/2009 23:35 - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 207

You deserved it 4 344

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:06

The tradition of eating the top tier on the first anniversary is ridiculous. We tried that, and the cake was as moist as an 80 year old pussy. You should thank him for saving you from eating that.

MarineWifey88 3

Tuesday 15 March 2011 19:05

My husband spent our first anniversary in Iraq. we didn't get to spend an anniversary together until our 4th anniversary and by then, we were scared of the cake and threw it out.

Comments

Robroach 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 5:29

You funkn deserved that knowing if he was drunk guy...... HAHA

Ozark778 5

Thursday 17 March 2011 14:45

Sarahstarz... It was their one year wedding anniversary... Buying fresh cake.. Or buying it early... Doesn't have anything to do with this fml... Hint... And beer munchies? Who has beer munchies?

Ozark778 5

Thursday 17 March 2011 14:47

Sarahstarz... It was their one year wedding anniversary... The cake they ate.. Oh idk.. A year ago... Buying fresh cake.. Or buying it early... Doesn't have anything to do with this fml... Go home and learn how to read. And beer munchies? Who has beer munchies?

sculp91 0

Thursday 17 March 2011 14:53

Ew that had to be disgusting

Seddah 3

Friday 18 March 2011 0:50

Hot Fuzz?

neander 8

Friday 18 March 2011 18:24

A drunk would be the only one able to eat the freezer burned piece of crap anyway. He did you a big favor.

Witchcraft_fml 4

Saturday 19 March 2011 0:09

Oh no! Billions of people starve to death in third-world countries but you didn't have cake to eat on your anniversary! I feel so sad about your misfortunes!

Ozark778 5

Monday 21 March 2011 17:51

@sarastarz It's Called an anniversary... That means they got married.. And now it's a year later... And they are celebrating.. Tomorrow you can learn about the color red.. And everything in the whole world that is the color red..