Intimacy: Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 498

You deserved it 11 071

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Same thing different taste

My little buddy

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 110

You deserved it 6 510

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 193

You deserved it 4 506

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 862

You deserved it 6 011

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 357

You deserved it 4 919

By lovingthis - 09/01/2013 16:48 - United States - Largo

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 200

You deserved it 5 248

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 196

You deserved it 405

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 234

You deserved it 96 455

Communication tool

By Anonymous - 10/10/2012 21:48 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 331

You deserved it 6 185

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 50 997

Close

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 01:59

Today, my husband decided it's completely fine to walk around the house with his penis out in front of his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 307

You deserved it 152

sjisje 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 12:36

did the penis talk back?

allenrotstein 0

Tuesday 24 August 2010 12:28

c'mon, this is kinda funny..

Comments

gymdiva1 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 1:32

........can someone say awkward......??!? lol (;

therealducktape 0

Friday 27 August 2010 0:55

awkward if OP's husband had drawn a smiley face on his penis/// x]

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 25 August 2010 1:47

Not an FML unless the penis was talking back, or he was giving it mouth to mouth resuscitation.

Mars_Bars_Big_Na 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 2:14

so I do that all the time his names raliq

JCLPASCUAL 4

Wednesday 25 August 2010 2:36

LMFAO that is hilarious xD

glambert1998 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 2:46

there was a vid on youtube like this but it was a mimikment of kevin jonas and that girls wedding after it

Wynton 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 4:30

i would let 65 tickle my pickle for a.....free!! not even a nickle lol jk she look awesome :)

ShotCaller82 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 5:48

did the penis talk back?

nikalb3 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 5:58

was it talking back

ShotCaller82 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 6:00

sharing memories 126?

angtaffe 0

Wednesday 25 August 2010 6:05

thats hot. hahaha

Keywords

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Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her family. She’s always called her dad “Daddy” when talking about him, which is fine, but when we went to their house she kissed him on the mouth as a greeting, and at one point was sat on his lap, almost falling asleep. She’s 25. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 226

You deserved it 224

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I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 661

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 029

You deserved it 1 828

Today, my finally figuring out what the hell is wrong with my body has coincided with the local clinic closing for the weekend. I can't get referrals until they open again. Only three long, boring, miserable days and three long, agonizing, sleepless nights to go. And probably more even after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 86

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 593

You deserved it 4 110

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 339

You deserved it 4 026

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 009

You deserved it 7 579