Miscellaneous: Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic...

By fmT719 - 18/12/2011 23:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 635

You deserved it 17 379

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Stoners of the world unite!

By Andy - 04/04/2020 23:00

Today, I came home to my 60-something year-old father, stoned off his ass, buck naked in our living room, doing a spirited rendition of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" with an Australian accent and a tambourine. The windows were open. The poor neighborhood children will most likely need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 735

You deserved it 202

Warren Zevon wrote bangers

By The song is "Excitable Boy" - 02/01/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I've been trying to find and revisit a song that my dad listened to all the time when I was a kid, and I finally found it. Except now I'm old enough to realize the lyrics are about a psychotic man who gets put in a "home" for things I cannot put in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 138

By bellerz14 - 23/12/2011 02:58 - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 999

You deserved it 4 223

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 499

You deserved it 3 033

By lauramarie - 23/07/2011 14:18 - Canada

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 568

You deserved it 15 611

Drowning

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 18:01 - United States

Today, my son finally revealed the reason he was always blasting music as a teenager was to drown out the sound of his father and I arguing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 1 589

By SteroidPenguin - 18/05/2013 22:33 - United States - Clifton

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 458

You deserved it 7 539

By embaressed - 20/09/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 462

You deserved it 2 920

Survivor

By whyyy - 21/11/2011 23:26 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad's mid-life crisis has finally started. He's blacked all our windows, barricaded the door to the backyard, and set up a bunch of security cameras in and out of the house. It seems he's been reading up on Survivalist and Masonic conspiracy theory bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 909

You deserved it 2 680

By Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 451

You deserved it 4 166

imafmlluver 6

Monday 19 December 2011 1:42

MY GOD U SUCK skrillex ftw

kickazz16 15

Monday 19 December 2011 1:40

It's probably a mid-life crisis. But do know your dad heard you wail and scream for hours when you were a baby. Just adjust to it!

Comments

kphippie 0

Monday 19 December 2011 22:50

Im interested to know what you call good music

Twipz_fml 3

Monday 19 December 2011 23:03

I fail to see why this is an FML

nevarezromero 6

Monday 19 December 2011 23:18

CALL 911 NOW!

konstantinos616 17

Tuesday 20 December 2011 0:10

*wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub wub*

konstantinos616 17

Monday 19 December 2011 23:56

TAKE THAT BACK! SKRILLEX IS AWESOME!!! Well....unless you're blasting Ruffneck Bass for three hours straight. Then it does get pretty damn annoying

musicphreakk 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 0:27

I love Skrillex ... Sooooo , shush .

vixnbrianaf 2

Tuesday 20 December 2011 0:55

He was probably just trying to show you what you look like when you listen to music. Just Sayin'

Portalcc 4

Tuesday 20 December 2011 1:07

YES! OH MY GOD!

kadgaf 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 1:29

**** you skrillex rules!

notixxdub 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 1:36

skrillex is not shit!!!!

iPunchedBigFoot 5

Tuesday 20 December 2011 1:37

Skrillex is beast

Keywords

Work Awkward Embarrassing Money Sex Intimacy Insects Animals Cats Kids Health Neighbours Dating First Dates Love Alcohol Students Fight Parents Miscellaneous Parenting AITA Am I overreacting? Shopping Poopoo peepee Weird Drugs Cheating I need your advice Relatable

The Top

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 906

You deserved it 91 028

Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 777

You deserved it 6 458

The Top

Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 762

You deserved it 2 069

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 6 763

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 203

You deserved it 8 031

Michael Scott would be impressed.

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 246

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 259

You deserved it 28 877

Today, I helped an older guy with his safe deposit box. He said it's perfect for holding his ex-wife's remains and laughed. I laughed because I thought he was kidding. He wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 639

You deserved it 299