Intimacy: Today, I hooked up with a freshman at a party. No foreplay, just... - FML

By Lilica - 13/06/2017 21:00 - Brazil

Spicy

Today, I hooked up with a freshman at a party. No foreplay, just a quickie. The boy was a virgin, had phimosis, and didn't know. He started to bleed and scream, causing everyone from the party to gather around the bathroom door. He left with his dick bleeding and now everyone is saying I have a snapping vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 993

You deserved it 1 543

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Top comments

I'madumbass 19

Tuesday 13 June 2017 21:16

I have a couple of questions: 1) What grade are you in? 2) Is this high school or college? I would understand if it's a freshman in high school, but a freshman in college should be more mature. FYL.

cacheson 41

Tuesday 13 June 2017 21:03

****** dentata!!!

Comments

sloter 16

Friday 14 July 2017 5:20

I'll risk it

Robertjoe18 1

Wednesday 30 August 2017 13:29

There's teeth in your ******? Chanel #5 is that you???

SlapAnAsian70 7

Tuesday 12 September 2017 3:57

????

Keywords

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USA, USA, USA, and more precisely Philadelphia. That's where we're landing today. When I first discovered Justin, on 9gag or an awesome website like that, I knew exactly this little guy was perfect to fit in the FML illustrated section. His crazy, c...

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 8

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 101

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Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 821

You deserved it 6 331

Today, I realized why I had more than a little obsession with a show, in particularly one character, when I was transferring files to my new phone and saw a drawing my ex had sent me. She went missing, with zero leads, over 18 months ago and I can't stop clinging to either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 112

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I get along with her mother just fine. Apparently, it’s not natural for a son-in-law and mother-in-law to get along this well, we should hate each other on principle, so liking each other just fine is somehow majorly suspicious and she can’t trust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 461

You deserved it 121

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 692

You deserved it 5 024

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid, and my husband said, "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 043

You deserved it 12 113

Today, I got a call from Red Cross about the blood donation I gave last week. They informed me that I have Hepatitis C. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 516

You deserved it 4 270