Kids: Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out... - FML

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By dani0810 - 22/01/2013 11:39 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

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You deserved it 5 506

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Same thing different taste

I just can't hide it

By doomeddaddy - 03/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 261

You deserved it 3 241

By TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 577

You deserved it 521

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 197

You deserved it 608

Have a Coke and smile

By Anonymous - 26/12/2021 02:01

Today, after my 7 year-old learned at school that water that goes down the sink and toilets is cleaned and then turns up in the taps as drinking water, he is now refusing to drink it at all in case it is recycled toilet water, and if he carries on he may need to be hospitalised for dehydration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 200

New urinal

By fml9124 - 21/12/2019 05:00

Today, my wife caught our six-year-old son peeing in the bathroom sink. He pulled his little stool up in front, that he uses to brush his teeth, and was peeing in the sink. When we asked why, he said that he wanted to pee like a man, "like we do at football games." My son is using our bathroom sink as an urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 328

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's the window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 778

You deserved it 9 583

Boys will be annoying boys

By shouldve used a condom - 29/06/2022 14:00

Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 287

By dogggg - 14/07/2014 02:10 - India - Pune

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 745

You deserved it 9 639

When you gotta go…

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, my youngest son, for the third time, decided that the toilet is not where he wants to go to the bathroom. This wouldn't be an issue if he wasn't also squatting in the yard to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 216

Paper-thin walls

By Lauren Davies - 17/09/2019 06:00

Today, I had to tell my 4 year-old, "I'm wiping my butt right now, I can't get you a drink. Please wait a minute." I distinctly heard my neighbor laughing through the bathroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 322

Next

Top comments

OhDearBetrayal 25

Tuesday 22 January 2013 18:42

He'll go far in life. I imagine him becoming a free living environmentalist because of his interest in reusable resources.

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Tuesday 22 January 2013 18:43

Chin up, it would be worse if he was 14.

Comments

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 22 January 2013 23:18

In the fridge!

Smartdumbblonde 27

Tuesday 22 January 2013 23:27

It sounds like your son is gonna be a dog when he gets older

kalbrek009 20

Wednesday 23 January 2013 0:33

Do you have a dog that drinks from the toilet? If not, you need to seriously get after him for that before doctors & child services start wondering why your kid keeps getting staph infections, intestinal or other seriously damaging things from your toilet. Give him a step stool so he can reach the sink or a water bottle instead.

lilchica22001 22

Wednesday 23 January 2013 0:33

Kids with diabetes insipidus have been known to drink from toilets due to their overwhelming and unquenchable thirst. May want to get him tested before thinking he is insane...

Twitch5253 4

Wednesday 23 January 2013 3:33

slam the lid on his head. that'll teach him!

kemando 22

Wednesday 23 January 2013 4:43

Like doggie like son.

buckdharma 37

Wednesday 23 January 2013 4:54

Cut him some slack. Chasing cars all day makes him thirsty.

slapsface 10

Wednesday 23 January 2013 5:01

Well at least he's hydrated

kimj356 6

Wednesday 23 January 2013 6:43

Get a dog bowl next time.

ViviMage 39

Wednesday 23 January 2013 6:45

This may be the only water source he can reach! Try putting the lid down.

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Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

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Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 years-old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother with shocked look and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

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The Top

Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 575

You deserved it 2 500

Today, I was cleaning out my little sister's bedroom as she moved out and left a huge mess. I found her wearable vibrator. FML

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You deserved it 309

Today, I went to the UK for the first time, and had the most amazing time with my girlfriend, catching it all on tape. When I got back to South America, I realized someone had stolen my camera. FML

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Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 843

You deserved it 5 637

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be my cousin's ex. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe it. We spent the entire dinner avoiding eye contact and pretending not to know each other. FML

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You deserved it 157

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

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You deserved it 3 599