Intimacy: Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up....

By married an old man - 05/03/2013 17:57 - United States - Rancho Mirage

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 068

You deserved it 6 733

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Same thing different taste

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 159

You deserved it 6 912

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 477

You deserved it 6 678

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 607

You deserved it 2 704

By MyLife - 06/02/2013 08:04

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 584

You deserved it 2 632

Denied

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:28 - Canada

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 744

You deserved it 4 498

What are you doing?

By Noname - 20/02/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 409

You deserved it 19 394

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 283

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 5 496

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 181

You deserved it 5 620

By Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 204

You deserved it 4 277

rangerPat 12

Tuesday 5 March 2013 22:55

I'll take dick husbands for a thousand, Alex.

beehardxcore 26

Tuesday 5 March 2013 22:57

What is "how to effectively ****-block oneself?"

Comments

node_fml 5

Wednesday 6 March 2013 0:02

I'm married shit that happens when you're married long enough happened. Mlia This isn't a fml, sorry. next.

Steve95401 49

Wednesday 6 March 2013 0:06

OP should be glad her husband prefers Jeopardy over Wheel of Fortune and isn't drooling over Vanna White.

RaulGarcia30 10

Wednesday 6 March 2013 0:16

A guy rejecting sex?? Not possible and either way he could record it

Reaper1984 13

Wednesday 6 March 2013 0:38

I'll make it a true daily double Alex and risk it all including my marriage.

dontpanic_fml 32

Wednesday 6 March 2013 0:52

Suck it, Trebek

amifaiyaz 12

Wednesday 6 March 2013 1:15

priorities, I suppose.

rockydify 22

Wednesday 6 March 2013 1:27

Sounds like you need Tivo. :)

iloveshim 14

Wednesday 6 March 2013 2:39

What is REJECTED.

buddy51 23

Wednesday 6 March 2013 3:27

OP- FYL because your husband is role-playing you perfectly! Turned down for tv just like you turn him down. See how you like it!!

Sketchisan 27

Wednesday 6 March 2013 3:40

You assume that she makes a habit out of turning him down. Maybe she's very accommodating to his needs and he makes a habit out of blowing her off.

ophel1a 7

Wednesday 6 March 2013 3:41

you sure inferred a lot from such little information given. /ahem

buddy51 23

Wednesday 6 March 2013 4:08

Yes, I did indeed..... And yet, I am right in my inference.... He gave her what she gives him in response to her giving him what he gives her.... Turnabout.....

ophel1a 7

Wednesday 6 March 2013 3:40

okay--here's what you do. unplug your digital antenna box, then seduce your hub at the exact time jeopardy next airs; tell him if he's 'good', you'll download the newest episode for him. mayyyyybe it'll work. maybe.