Intimacy: Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up....

By married an old man - 05/03/2013 17:57 - United States - Rancho Mirage

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 068

You deserved it 6 733

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Same thing different taste

By unwantedlove - 25/02/2011 18:36 - France

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 159

You deserved it 6 912

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 477

You deserved it 6 678

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 607

You deserved it 2 704

By MyLife - 06/02/2013 08:04

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 584

You deserved it 2 632

Denied

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:28 - Canada

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 744

You deserved it 4 498

What are you doing?

By Noname - 20/02/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 409

You deserved it 19 394

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 283

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 790

You deserved it 5 496

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 181

You deserved it 5 620

By Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 204

You deserved it 4 277

rangerPat 12

Tuesday 5 March 2013 22:55

I'll take dick husbands for a thousand, Alex.

beehardxcore 26

Tuesday 5 March 2013 22:57

What is "how to effectively ****-block oneself?"

Comments

mrperspire 4

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:06

What is: how does it feel to get turned down? Its how guys feel all the time.

perdix 29

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:18

#12, I argue that it's different for men and women. We're always sticking our . . . necks ;) . . . out trying to get sex, even if the odds are long so we handle rejection well. Women don't often offer sex, so they freak out when they get turned down. Her honor she offered Her offer I honored So all night long It was honor and offer

ahcetsf 2

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:38

AMEN TO THAT!!! Why can't a guy choose something over his girl once in a while without the woman flipping out? Women do it all the time. Don't like rejection? Don't reject. Understood?

happle 21

Wednesday 6 March 2013 1:15

28 It kind of sounds like you're saying women should never reject sex. It's not like all women freak out when they're rejected.

rockydify 22

Wednesday 6 March 2013 1:29

You can't just generalise like that. It's whichever partner has the highest sex drive. Sometimes that's the female.

beej821410 6

Wednesday 6 March 2013 9:18

Lies perdix! I offer all the time and get shot down by my husband for mostly just stupid reasons. Like, "I'm driving in front of a cop", "my parents are on the other couch", "we're at a funeral". Bastard alway has an excuse.

ComoEsJuan 24

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:09

This is plausible..

HowieDoIt 21

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:11

Is that his final answer? If so, he's pressing his luck and the marriage may wipeout. If it does, you can come over here with me: Deal, or no deal?

AlittleSanity 11

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:12

That's it cut him off .... Oh yeah wouldn't work ..... hahahahaha ....Yeah not much you can do about that one. : )

perdix 29

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:14

"Is that a wet noodle in your pocket or are you not glad to see me?"

BlondeBubbles 6

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:15

I'll take rejected for 1200, Alex.

sparkjolt 10

Tuesday 5 March 2013 23:16

Why is there always the stereotype that guys want sex 24/7? If your wife starts coming on to you and you're not in the mood she should respect that instead of whining on a website about it. it's not as if any guy that submits an FML of "I wanted to have sex but my girlfriend didn't. FML" would get it posted.

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Wednesday 6 March 2013 1:45

I don't think it is so much that the sex offer was rejected so much as it is how it was rejected. It's one thing to say "I'm not really in the mood", "I don't feel like it right now", "Thanks for the offer but I'm not up for it and would rather watch Jeopardy". It is another to push your wife away demanding an explanation for her attempt to come one to you because a television show is starting that she (apparently) wasn't aware you were more interested in paying attention to right now.