Health: Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/09/2011 13:36 - United States

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 080

You deserved it 4 264

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 289

You deserved it 2 902

By see you next cunt - 18/03/2014 19:44 - United States

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 956

You deserved it 5 131

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 22:01 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:48 - United States

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 119 184

By Anonymous - 09/05/2012 01:59 - United States - South Salem

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 081

You deserved it 9 583

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 083

You deserved it 7 403

You can't win

By fatty fatfuck - 10/05/2020 17:00

Today, after losing my job and being quarantined alone, I realized I've gained quite a bit of weight due to depression. I decided to do something about it and walk around my neighborhood. A group of teens followed me laughing and hurling insults until I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 290

You deserved it 231

Not-so-biker chick

By Kris - 24/09/2023 10:00 - Canada

Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 204

By SeeTony - 19/11/2009 07:33 - United States

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 867

You deserved it 5 525

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 986

You deserved it 4 572

Next

Top comments

CamberwellCarrot 8

Friday 9 September 2011 19:01

You should've mocked the loser who drives an ice cream truck for a living.

NoobHat 6

Friday 9 September 2011 19:01

How you kept running is beyond me, I'm powerless before an ice cream sandwich.

Comments

browneyed 7

Friday 9 September 2011 21:46

jealosy

garfield224 0

Friday 9 September 2011 21:46

Throw a rock at his ass

devinevine 0

Friday 9 September 2011 22:00

What does YDI & OP mean? Please tell me

allknowingbrony 5

Friday 9 September 2011 22:34

YDI=You deserved it OP=Original Poster

devinevine 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 5:16

Thanks

sydney184829 0

Friday 9 September 2011 22:35

Lol flip him off

syfool 4

Friday 9 September 2011 23:04

Coooome to the dark side..!

G0t4acked 8

Friday 9 September 2011 23:30

Mock the idiot who can't get a real job. The ice cream driver is either an immature kid or a fat douche bag. The first part of losing weight is fighting temptation. Good luck OP.

cash_monkey72 9

Friday 9 September 2011 23:49

You left out pot-head.

KaelaKhaotic 5

Saturday 10 September 2011 0:08

Buy an ice cream then throw it in his face.

Sweet_Lemonade 4

Saturday 10 September 2011 0:16

Simple fix: Turn around, jog back the way you came

Sarojin 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 0:22

icecream man knows round is a shape.

Squrril 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 0:44

Are you sure you didnt just not knowingly memorized the ice cream truk route

kikibrowm 7

Saturday 10 September 2011 17:25

LMFAO it's possible...

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USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

Today, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with his girl bestie for 4 years. I also found out he's been having threesomes with his male bestie. Both people have been around me and my family this entire time. We've been married for 15 years. Joke's on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 413

You deserved it 170

The Top

Today, I had a huge amount of work to get through. Two colleagues offered to help, because one had nothing else to do, and the other couldn't work until I was done. My boss got really pissed at me for "making" them do my job and wasting their time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 107

Today, my husband suddenly decided he was going to stop talking about all the changes he needed to make, and finally do them. That's great, except that in less than a day, he lost his shit at me and our young kids for not immediately fixing everything about ourselves as well. They're still sobbing and he doesn't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 141

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 428

You deserved it 7 979

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 414

You deserved it 2 848

Today, I'm on holiday in Vietnam, and was wearing a new shirt. In a restaurant, the waitress pointed at my shirt and said something I couldn't understand, so I just smiled and nodded my head. She then gave me a weird look and walked away. Turns out there was a huge spider on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 497

You deserved it 4 915

Today, I was accused of being a "racist whore" at work. I'd only asked a man if he needed help finding anything, as that is part of my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 596

You deserved it 171