Health: Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around... - FML

By Anonymous - 09/09/2011 13:36 - United States

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 080

You deserved it 4 264

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 289

You deserved it 2 902

By see you next cunt - 18/03/2014 19:44 - United States

Today, about 10 minutes into my first jog in months, someone in a car started following me, yelling stuff like "Oh my god, it's Shamu!" and "Run faster, fatty!" I ended up breaking down in tears before he finally sped off, roaring with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 956

You deserved it 5 131

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 22:01 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:48 - United States

Today, I decided I would eat healthy in order to lose weight. Feeling powerful, I threw away all of the icecream in my freezer. An hour later, I picked the icecream carton out of the garbage and ate the entire half-melted carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 119 184

By Anonymous - 09/05/2012 01:59 - United States - South Salem

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 081

You deserved it 9 583

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 083

You deserved it 7 403

You can't win

By fatty fatfuck - 10/05/2020 17:00

Today, after losing my job and being quarantined alone, I realized I've gained quite a bit of weight due to depression. I decided to do something about it and walk around my neighborhood. A group of teens followed me laughing and hurling insults until I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 290

You deserved it 231

Not-so-biker chick

By Kris - 24/09/2023 10:00 - Canada

Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 204

By SeeTony - 19/11/2009 07:33 - United States

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 867

You deserved it 5 525

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 986

You deserved it 4 572

Next

Top comments

CamberwellCarrot 8

Friday 9 September 2011 19:01

You should've mocked the loser who drives an ice cream truck for a living.

NoobHat 6

Friday 9 September 2011 19:01

How you kept running is beyond me, I'm powerless before an ice cream sandwich.

Comments

taytoc 10

Saturday 10 September 2011 0:49

This is y I'm glad I'm lactose intolerant

leadman1989 15

Saturday 10 September 2011 1:19

Most people are, just some more than others. Poor thing so many delicious DELICIOUS things you just can't have or else you end up on the toilet.

leadman1989 15

Saturday 10 September 2011 1:22

Time to start carrying bear mace. >:)

Lovesglee 3

Saturday 10 September 2011 1:59

Maybe he just couldnt get around ur fat ass. Sry op, my friend blackmailed me into saying that. :( I send u tellapathic hope and strength to reach ur goal. :)

RLG 7

Saturday 10 September 2011 2:13

Well the during training for the U.S navy seals, you'll lay down on the coast of a beach where water gets you and your instructors yell out "that's the warm wave, yeah that's.. No no that wasn't very warm" the entire time every time. Its all mental and bearly physical. You can do it if you forget about quiting

aali12 7

Saturday 10 September 2011 2:47

That's is some messed stuff that is just straight up mean and I thought ice cream men were supposed to be nice...

leannecloveryau 11

Saturday 10 September 2011 4:11

That totally changed my views on ice cream trucks...

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 10 September 2011 5:09

Lucky, in a way, I had a dream where I was being chased by an ice cream truck and was singing "twinkle, twinkle little star, I'LL RUN YOU OVER WITH MAH CAR" scary FIGHT THE TEMPTATION!

DisappearingRose 18

Saturday 10 September 2011 5:33

That's a smart ice cream truck driver!

ikickgingers 15

Saturday 10 September 2011 5:42

Okay I cannot stay away from this fml. I keep picturing a ginger midget running away from an ice cream truck with the stay puft marshmallow man plaster in it. For some reason the ice cream truck is playing Pantera - walk. Fml now.

tonnyfong 3

Saturday 10 September 2011 6:04

Nice. A free personal trainer.

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 1 921

The Top

Today, while working from home, I was super drowsy after a heavy bar hangout with the boys. I took a call from a customer. Next thing I know, the call was no longer there. My boss called me to tell me they left a one-star review on our site, saying I fell asleep and snored mid-call. Yes, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 2 000

Today, due to the inability to preview academic fields, I'm stuck spending the rest of my life in anthropology. If I had gone into the arts, I would've had fun with my fake major, but the one I picked turned out to be worthless, not just socioeconomically, but intellectually as well. It's too late to change majors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 847

Today, my love life evolved. My wife left me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 32

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 901

You deserved it 6 943

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 023

You deserved it 3 720

Today, I got a call from the only company that asked me to come in for an interview of the many applications I submitted. I answered it even though I was at my current job. My boss heard and chewed me out. The call was to cancel the interview since the position was filled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 082

You deserved it 1 749