Intimacy: Today, I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday... - FML

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By hayah - 21/02/2010 06:08 - France

Spicy

Today, I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday in a row, because I didn't want to appear desperate in front of the strippers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 370

You deserved it 23 433

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Same thing different taste

Bad mindset

By Anonymous - 10/12/2021 02:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to a strip club and got a dance from a 19-year-old who was clearly not into me. I left and got into my car, and parked on a busy street. For some reason, the desire to do something pathetic was coursing through my veins, and so… I jerked off right there in my car. I think I was trying to get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 2 283

So close…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, a pretty co-worker invited me out for drinks after my shift. I have no money left until payday. Embarrassed, I had to decline and go home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 292

You deserved it 7 430

By foxfur - 14/07/2016 12:21 - United States - Williamstown

Today, my drinking habit hit a new low when I waited almost an hour to go to the liquor store after it opened because I didn't want to seem desperate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 719

You deserved it 3 953

By bluntedone - 03/02/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 037

You deserved it 52 165

Missed opportunities

By Anonymous - 13/07/2020 08:01

Today, I turned down a chance to go to a bar with a girl I like because I have an autoimmune disorder and don't want to get sick because of being irresponsible and obviously COVID 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 847

You deserved it 295

No buyers

By Kai Curtis - 17/01/2023 18:00 - United States - Exton

Today, I went to the bar because, I like to go to the bar every Saturday, but wearing a wedding ring so people wouldn't hit on me. But when I went this time, I forgot my ring and people still didn’t hit on me. So now I know it has nothing to do with the ring at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 1 026

What are you doing?

By Noname - 20/02/2009 05:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 418

You deserved it 19 398

By assante2010 - 24/07/2011 00:09 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 365

You deserved it 6 893

By Big B - 04/02/2009 17:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 061

You deserved it 45 561

What a thoughtful gift

By Natsert99 - 08/12/2016 14:02 - United States - Deerfield

Spicy

Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 142

You deserved it 1 257

Next

Top comments

uns211 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 12:42

how the **** do these fmls even get accepted :/

XR6Falcon 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 12:43

but you are desperate and why would you care what a dirty stripper thinks of you?

Comments

bjcarson 0

Monday 22 February 2010 12:13

flesh light that shiz up son.

ILikePopCorn 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 5:27

haha #19 just made my day.

ILikePopCorn 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 5:31

haha this is the stupidist most retardest FML ever.

samuelmartin 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 5:32

33, they are not judging him because they are to busy worrying about being judged by him for striping.

lxclark 17

Tuesday 23 February 2010 8:08

Haha made me lol :P Good idea!

Dynoblaze 1

Thursday 25 February 2010 7:11

Dont stop going to strip clubs. single mothers and poor college chicks need your help.

Yankeepunk 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 11:43

my buddies and I went to a strip club once and then one of my freinds went back like 5 times! the Strippers did Recognize him hahaha Strip Clubs are fun. just dont make it a weekly thing

umhiimrawr 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 19:15

You will always look desperate at a strip club. It just means you have no dignity or respect for yourself or anybody else in the world. And even somebody as stupid and lacking self-respect as a STRIPPER realizes you're a desperate ****.

yupishi 2

Saturday 17 April 2010 20:44

Has anyone else noticed how many intimacy FMLs ome from Nord-Pas-De-Calais? Is there something in the water over there that somehow influences people's sex lives?

LizN 0

Sunday 25 April 2010 19:02

I hate judgemental people, why assume the girls have zero feelings and are ******? What club have you been going too? HELLO--- Penthouse Club--- Beautiful girls that have more money than most of the ignorant people with the derogatory comments!

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You deserved it 71

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I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 65

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 43 689

You deserved it 4 165

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I agree, your life sucks 3 955

You deserved it 366

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I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 555

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I agree, your life sucks 37 570

You deserved it 9 080

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I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 105

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I agree, your life sucks 47 193

You deserved it 6 067