Animals: Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and...

By Username - 02/08/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 5 305

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Same thing different taste

By Koko - 07/04/2016 16:07 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 785

You deserved it 1 942

By Pisser - 26/06/2014 04:57 - United States - Portland

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 187

You deserved it 5 723

By chris - 09/06/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 10 786

Bad boy

By Rich - 19/05/2010 20:43 - United States

Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 297

You deserved it 4 620

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 8 456

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 810

You deserved it 4 128

By furryfriend - 16/09/2014 18:46 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 099

You deserved it 3 974

Mud bogging

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 22:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 16:41 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 525

You deserved it 3 240

By mraow123 - 30/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 394

You deserved it 4 660

iJeremyTyler 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:39

You're his territory now.

dolphincheddar 10

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:39

Maybe roleplaying as a fire hydrant isn't a good idea

Comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:42

Welp. You're his bitch now.

macsterfun 3

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:03

Dammit, looks like I have competition -.-

detective_oreo 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:44

He has marked his territory...you are now your dogs bitch

kbt13 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:44

You just got R. Kelly'd

skigirl98 9

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:48

what?

Crzyitch 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:57

Thats a good one lol

CADMAN82 1

Tuesday 2 August 2011 23:31

19. We will tell you when you're older.

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:44

he's just saying you're his territory :)

hollyman 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:45

Omg never role-play with ur dog ur his bitch now lol

Monkeyone 0

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:45

Lolololololol you stink

miraggg 1

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:40

Piss off! Har har har

asianperry 8

Wednesday 3 August 2011 19:46

that's punny

ajbaby311 5

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:48

Lolz thats funny man

lopez1222 3

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:52

My dog did the same thing. Except he peed right down my crack..

Person1233 12

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:55

You tried anal with your dog? Wtf.

chelseaaababyyy 17

Wednesday 3 August 2011 0:34

wtf ? *********** is illegal. you know that, right ?

chrstygrl06 10

Tuesday 2 August 2011 22:53

Too bad it wasn't cat piss. You could have gotten high:P (South Park reference)

Punkpoptart1119 20

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:59

#23: ROFL!!! I wonder why nobody else thought of that...'you cannot touch my daughters awesome boobage' (I know those weren't the exact words, but oh well..) Haha..classic!!