Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to take a nap while listening to my iPod, on...

By SpaceAstronaut - 28/12/2009 21:42 - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap while listening to my iPod, on the lowest volume possible. My girlfriend woke me up by turning the volume all the way up. I still can't hear out of both ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 800

You deserved it 5 221

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Same thing different taste

By shadowsorel - 30/08/2012 20:34 - United States - Chicago

Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 409

You deserved it 2 663

Scary season ain't over just yet

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 00:00

Today, I awoke to a series of almighty explosions in the middle of the night. Turns out I fell asleep with my AirPods in to a “Soothing rain” soundtrack, which had turned to “Storms and thunder” at some point. I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 389

By bodhimae - 03/05/2009 07:15 - France

Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 096

You deserved it 2 376

Really heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 144

By atleasthelistened - 09/03/2016 08:04 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 547

You deserved it 2 451

Confinement is rough

By daisythebunny1988 - 25/03/2020 05:15

Today, my mother is snoring so loud that I can still hear her with the door shut and with earplugs in. So much for sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 144

Alexa, play "Noise Annoys" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 27/06/2020 23:02

Today, I found out my mother only uses two settings for volume on her laptop: maximum volume or completely quiet. She'll play it over whatever other people are doing, and then get mad when they tell her to turn it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 127

By jkmartinjk - 28/11/2012 04:58 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 615

You deserved it 33 066

Keep it down

By Anonymous - 13/09/2022 07:00

Today, I was woken up at 2 a.m. by my roommates throwing a party down the hall. I put some earplugs in so I could get some rest for my 8 a.m final. They worked really well, so well in fact that I didn't hear my alarm and woke up at noon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 230

By Anonymous - 11/06/2012 11:18 - United States

Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 907

You deserved it 3 243

thinmint 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 2:41

iPods doooo go that loud. mine does atleast... that was a bitch move from the gf.

Yarrachel 16

Tuesday 29 December 2009 2:08

We're all completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

Comments

shazzam 0

Saturday 2 January 2010 9:36

lose her!

ejd69 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 9:54

wow bro if you go deaf from an ipod going up all the way, never attend a rock concert with those soft fragile ears. hahaha

PeacefulWicked 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 11:41

Yeah, seriously man lol.

fogrunner 13

Wednesday 3 February 2010 1:43

Or he could, you know, use ******* ear plugs.

artssfreak 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 4:35

I hate that. my friend did that to me not knowing I had super sensitive ears, and I actually cried a bit. i've never cried from physical pain before.

ftyugres 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 10:25

shes a crazy woman you really should dump her right away

lindseytaylor201 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 18:07

my brother did that to me once it sucks.

sadaffy 0

Monday 10 January 2011 5:05

WTF,, that dosen't work 0.0

kodi93 2

Friday 21 January 2011 23:34

ipods don't get that loud.

KRYPTON1T3 5

Wednesday 26 January 2011 17:33

I have mine cranked all the time. is that a big deal?

FAYUL12345100 3

Sunday 20 February 2011 19:59

What a bitch.

only1onyx 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 9:05

is dying to know QUITE what 128? perhaps you meant QUIET?

MisUnFortunate 31

Tuesday 31 December 2013 5:06

Wow, 136, you are extremely passionate about typos.

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Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

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You deserved it 283

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting in the mood. I got on top of him, leaned down to kiss him, and he began to laugh. Puzzled, I asked him why. He told me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I reminded him of a cow, with "udders." Offended, I went to get off him. "No no!" he protested, "a SEXY cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 793

You deserved it 5 444

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I agree, your life sucks 62 021

You deserved it 6 153

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 422

You deserved it 6 543

Today, I returned to work after a week off due to severe food poisoning, after which I ended up in the ED. I was given a warning for causing an inconvenience to everyone, and next time I'm going to be sick, I should give 3 days notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 711

You deserved it 110

Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 427

You deserved it 31 762

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 035

You deserved it 3 632