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By Ohgreat - 17/10/2009 16:25 - United States

Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

mrbattleman 10

YDI idiot also, you don't have your own phone to pretend to talk to someone with? that makes me think you're, like, 12 or under which makes it less of a big deal

77 4

Comments

kaonashi_fml 0

I can't even find the words to describe how pathetic people trying to impress their ex are. I mean, get on with your life. They don't care. That's why you're not together anymore.

5 0
Witchcraft_fml 4

That's when you say "Yes, baby", throw the calculator down so hard that it explodes in a cascade of buttons, and take the waiter right there on the table with your ex watching. Grade "A" ****.

3 1
perdix 29

That sounds like a great movie, Witchcraft. I could get into it once I get over the initial shock of the wanton destruction of technology (I hope it's one of those cheap calculators and not an HP-41CX with RPN. If I saw a beautiful machine like that brutally destroyed, I don't know if I could take enough Viagra to enjoy the good part.) It would be funny if during the hot and heavy part, you saw the waiter starting to get bored and the ex yelling out, "Hey, buddy, now you see why I left!" Mark my words: the genre of ****/comedy is coming.

2 1
Witchcraft_fml 4

That sounds like something I could really get into. Watching her feelings get crushed might turn me on more than anything else I could see. Let's both object loudly to the fact the the OP left out details of the calculator, and flood her inbox with hate mail. Details of the calculator were necessary to create an enjoyable porno. However, in my mind it was the cheap old gray calculator my mum uses to do her bills, thus disposable and worth sacrificing for the sake of a great movie.

1 0
Witchcraft_fml 4

"**** me with the tip! ...No, not THAT tip!"

2 1
scateice 0

"Are you done talking into your calculator???? " ......N-.....None of your buisness."

3 1
null_fml 11

I hope your ex gave that waiter a HUGE tip. If I were him, I would've.

4 1
TheKitsune 0

I think the world just realized why you are single :/

4 0
perdix 29

You should have said to the waiter, loudly, "Well, I'm certainly not going to need this calculator to figure your tip -- ZERO!" I can see why your ex dumped you. We men are taught that girls become their mothers, and he saw that your mom was so insane that she talks to calculators. He saw the future and it was ... crazy, batshit crazy.

1 3
Witchcraft_fml 4

Might she have gotten an elbow in the eye, too? Otherwise, mistaking a calculator for a phone is definitely dump-worthy!

0 1
Raheemdplayer 7

Wow you are stupid. Wat are your results in ur IQ?

1 2
DameGreyWulf 0

Really, I don't get what's soooo important about looking like you're taken in front of an ex. Why do you care about what they think? They're your ex for a reason! Are you trying to make them jealous? Because it seems to me he really wouldn't give a shit since he has a new girl.

3 0
muffinsareyummy 1

exactly. guys are different than girls. once they've moved on, they've MOVED ON. girls are more self conscious about themselves, so they get jealous and try to even out the playing field. it's really pathetic.

1 1