Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around... - FML

By Sprinkles - 04/02/2015 07:44 - Australia

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 899

You deserved it 2 731

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Same thing different taste

By babyeaternomnom - 30/06/2012 16:22 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 891

You deserved it 2 327

By disturbedtosaytheleast - 27/01/2012 11:19 - Canada

Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 002

You deserved it 2 682

By Stunned - 04/02/2013 09:15 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 049

You deserved it 3 706

Nuts

By dieders - 21/11/2016 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 1 146

By vanorav - 18/03/2012 02:41 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 580

You deserved it 2 250

By Doggy... - 10/11/2011 05:56 - Australia

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 731

You deserved it 9 905

Dangleberries

By myeyesburn - 28/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 174

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 185

You deserved it 17 633

Bird's eye view

By Anonymous - 13/05/2020 17:00

Today, I found out that my shower area is in direct view from my neighbours' balcony. I realised this when I caught my neighbour and his wife watching me while I was getting dressed. I've been living here for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 549

By MsConfusedd - 01/09/2012 04:30 - United States - Hazlet

Today, I learned that my 76 year-old great aunt likes to swim naked, even when I have friends over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 758

You deserved it 2 036

Next

Top comments

arachnophile 13

Wednesday 4 February 2015 18:53

There really does seem to be an age where ***** are no longer given. Sorry, OP.

acommonman 23

Wednesday 4 February 2015 18:50

sorry you had to witness that, but he won't stay for long in this world, let him do as he pleases

Comments

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 4 February 2015 19:19

Quick! One order of brain bleach!.. Stat!

Thors_Hammer9999 17

Wednesday 4 February 2015 19:23

Close the blinds/curtains

ajs1987 15

Wednesday 4 February 2015 19:27

Your neighbor seems pretty ballsy.

khorstmye 15

Wednesday 4 February 2015 19:36

Ha! I didn't know you were my neighbor!!!!

Derpinboppin 13

Wednesday 4 February 2015 19:41

This is one fine day to be nude!

badgercheese94 16

Wednesday 4 February 2015 20:01

Bah, he only has a few more years left, let him have his bloody fun!

MVPK2010 13

Wednesday 4 February 2015 20:37

Run outside with a pair of hedge trimmers saying "snip snip!" In a sing song kinda voice!

jessdexter 5

Wednesday 4 February 2015 20:46

don't be a nosey neighbor and let him do his business in peace, he's old enough he's earned that right lol

mosquito19 14

Wednesday 4 February 2015 20:54

you should throw some peanut butter on him and send the dogs after his leather bag.

xKrisSmoove 21

Wednesday 4 February 2015 21:35

Day 256, supplies running low, family worried, no information on neighbor…send bacon

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The Top

Today, after registering my cellphone as my secondary authentication device for my campus account, it died for good. Despite still being logged in, most of my college's services are now locked behind a code sent to my unresponsive phone, including the ability to register any new authentication devices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 172

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 184

You deserved it 1 182

The Top

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 767

You deserved it 5 635

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says, "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 329

You deserved it 2 756

Today, I came home to pandemonium: the kids screaming, the house a mess, wet laundry, no food made, and my wife in her office. After cleaning, making dinner, putting everything away, and getting the kids to sleep, I grabbed myself a beer. My wife saw it and said, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 170

Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 183

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 586

You deserved it 5 913

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 697

You deserved it 5 544