Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes...

By Bill - 18/08/2011 23:44 - United States

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 656

You deserved it 2 805

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Same thing different taste

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 432

You deserved it 60 055

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 364

You deserved it 859

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 877

You deserved it 2 846

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 282

You deserved it 2 528

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 114

You deserved it 5 188

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 693

You deserved it 2 816

Drugs are bad

By Mike Capobianco - 22/08/2021 02:01

Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 85

By damn - 09/04/2014 21:12 - United States - Kenton

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 481

You deserved it 8 031

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 15 240

By AcademicAdvisor - 25/04/2016 20:14 - United States - Boston

Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 891

You deserved it 1 133

luvppl 6

Friday 19 August 2011 2:20

Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)

WCARlover 34

Friday 19 August 2011 2:29

More like a conversation ender...

Comments

good41thing198 7

Friday 19 August 2011 21:48

My last two BMs were named Eminem ******** and Barcrap Obamarhea

clapfire 1

Friday 19 August 2011 21:55

Story re-posted -.-

lactosefree1 8

Saturday 20 August 2011 0:37

Talking about your shit is fine. Once you start naming it, you've taken it too far. And you need help once you start talking to it.

DOTHEFREAK 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 2:06

stinky, curly, and bob.

JustJaredfied 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 6:27

Oh shit, **** your life

Purrfect_Peach 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 14:56

:O sounds like Sheldon Cooper!

SittingInTheSky 6

Thursday 1 September 2011 19:34

Indi- lol!!!! u legend, babe!

nickypd122 1

Sunday 4 September 2011 2:17

Woooow...

akiraina 4

Sunday 8 January 2012 19:22

wow can you believe I just read an fml about a guy who said he is the only one who names his bowel movements.. :S

aceinyoface 0

Friday 13 January 2012 0:03

To be honest I fist read that and I thought it said "with"...not about...lol

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The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 113

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 100

You deserved it 3 339

Today, I realised that I still don't know what to do with my life, since my parents have taken decisions for me my entire life, and are forcing me to a field of study which requires enormous amount of dedication and years, which I have no interest in, but still have to do because I don't know what else to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 548

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 9 415

Today, my Uber driver tried to detour my trip home to take me on a date to Waffle House, even after I showed zero interest and talked about my boyfriend non-stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 314

You deserved it 380

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "How did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?" She yelled from the other room, "You know that little plate with the red stripe?" I was eating off it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 682

You deserved it 7 671

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 669

You deserved it 30 718

Same thing different taste

Creepy

Drugs are bad

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