Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes...

By Bill - 18/08/2011 23:44 - United States

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 653

You deserved it 2 804

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Same thing different taste

By rainydays79 - 23/01/2010 19:12 - United States

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 432

You deserved it 60 052

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 363

You deserved it 859

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 00:01 - United States

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 875

You deserved it 2 846

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 278

You deserved it 2 528

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 112

You deserved it 5 187

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 691

You deserved it 2 816

Drugs are bad

By Mike Capobianco - 22/08/2021 02:01

Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 85

By damn - 09/04/2014 21:12 - United States - Kenton

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 481

You deserved it 8 031

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 398

You deserved it 15 240

By AcademicAdvisor - 25/04/2016 20:14 - United States - Boston

Today, a student pooped his pants in my office. I work with undergrad and graduate students. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 890

You deserved it 1 132

luvppl 6

Friday 19 August 2011 2:20

Hey, it's a conversation starter. :)

WCARlover 34

Friday 19 August 2011 2:29

More like a conversation ender...

Comments

anencephalic 14

Friday 19 August 2011 7:29

It could have been worse, he could've called you Billy.

alejandratx 8

Friday 19 August 2011 7:29

Lmaooo

Glitch333 0

Friday 19 August 2011 7:43

I bet one's Bob. Everyone likes Bob. Or Jeff :D

madibrielle212 0

Friday 19 August 2011 7:44

Now you will ace the tests about it(:

ninjaCarebear 17

Friday 19 August 2011 7:48

And today I survived Bowl Movement Tim

20jetsgo 3

Friday 19 August 2011 8:10

#jetsgo

BigStackPoker 0

Friday 19 August 2011 8:12

I read this and immediately looked for the "like" button.

20jetsgo 3

Friday 19 August 2011 8:34

Be over it

knightro 6

Friday 19 August 2011 8:22

at least he only named them and did not leave them there for you to name!

CBankhead93 0

Friday 19 August 2011 8:23

We would send pictures of ours to are football coach:D

decidedlyvague 11

Friday 19 August 2011 9:20

hey, just so you know. Rickety Spilt will be coming out my Jiffy.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for ages. We were lying in his bed afterwards, and he mumbled the word "happy". I thought it was really sweet, until he repeated himself. "My girlfriend probably won't be too happy about this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 582

You deserved it 6 916

Today, my boyfriend and I had a friend over. This friend was talking about how 2 girls were trying to get with him. My boyfriend says, "I wouldn't ever fuck the blonde one, but I would do the other one in a heartbeat." Then, realizing what he said, he hesitantly added "…if I was single." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 646

You deserved it 488

The Top

Today, I had a draft paper due that I hadn’t written yet. I decided to skip the class to avoid embarrassment. Later, I went to change my major and was told to go to room 223 to talk to the English department head. I knocked on the door and the professor whose class I'd skipped answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 2 503

Today, I learned that if you sing along with an old Frank Sinatra song, the elderly who hear you will want to talk to you about things you have no idea about, for a very long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 405

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 402

You deserved it 3 631

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 140

You deserved it 217

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 774

You deserved it 4 097

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 648

You deserved it 6 211

Same thing different taste

Creepy

Drugs are bad

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