Miscellaneous: Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric... - FML

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By seanjohn268 - 29/11/2011 17:21 - Canada

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 367

You deserved it 66 264

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Same thing different taste

By JBone - 22/01/2009 07:02 - Canada

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 418

You deserved it 33 341

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 349

You deserved it 29 712

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 726

You deserved it 18 773

By Mak10 - 10/12/2010 06:53 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you tell your child that they're old enough to cook their own food in the microwave, you have to make sure they're smart enough not to put the metal spoon in with the food as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 302

You deserved it 37 004

WTF are you doing?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 03:09 - United States

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 938

You deserved it 41 680

Shocking!

By Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 2 601

By TexasGirl24 - 10/09/2016 12:51 - United States - Houston

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 641

You deserved it 1 223

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 670

You deserved it 5 985

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 19:00

Today, I managed to electrocute myself on a plug socket while I was showing a group of trainee electricians how not to electrocute themselves while rewiring a plug socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 238

You deserved it 1 618

Test inconclusive

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to test my baking skills by making a soufflé. The recipe said to beat the egg whites until stiff peaks formed. I beat them so vigorously that the mixer launched out of the bowl and left a trail of egg whites across the kitchen. I now have egg whites on the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 466

Next

Top comments

Commander223 9

Wednesday 30 November 2011 1:29

Tard....

kmiks411 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 1:29

Take then out of the mixer too

Comments

Ozone1232 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 9:56

My friend totally ripped his tongue by doing that.

organolithium_fml 9

Wednesday 30 November 2011 10:35

Idiocracy is approaching...

Michael_92 20

Wednesday 30 November 2011 10:56

Are you for real dude....ydi tho.

marisadc79 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 11:33

Common sense would have you take the beaters out before licking them. Did you never see the Dairy Queen brownie batter blizzard commercial? FYL indeed lol.

whosurdaddy123 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:30

I miss my mama

Bullheard 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:09

yup thats about right

AwkwardPartyBear 24

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:10

Tongue twister??! (waiting for thumbs down)

nitemastr15 17

Wednesday 30 November 2011 15:14

Do people think before acting anymore?

tyghl55 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 16:31

I hope it ripped your tongue off for being so stupid

ZielZone 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 17:14

Please don't breed. We have enough stupid people in the world

jamesemmymaslow 2

Wednesday 30 November 2011 18:11

#156 FTW. Made me lol in the middle of a silent classroom.

twilightluvr101 4

Thursday 1 December 2011 5:01

I agree lol nd I luv how ur pic goes with thjs fml

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Today, my girlfriend invited me over because her husband was going to work. That bastard picked the PERFECT day to have the stomach flu and call out of work to come back home. I had to hide in the closet naked with blue balls for three hours until he fell asleep so I could sneak out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 1 976

Today, it was time to take graduation cap and gown pics. My cap didn't fit on my head. I'd specifically requested that they make it much larger, but they didn't. When someone tried to force it onto my head, it tore apart. So now I have no graduation cap. I'm so fucking done. Only 2 weeks left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 148

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 21 475

You deserved it 14 554

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I agree, your life sucks 29 387

You deserved it 2 730

Today, I got a call from a 24/7 psychiatric triage centre. Apparently, writing to the PM about assisted suicide puts you on their 'at risk' list. Is it not reasonable to ask if Australia is going to follow Canada's lead in complex mental health as a qualification for assisted suicide? I'm getting another call tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 186

Today, a licensed child psychologist with 20 years of experience threw my son out after his first appointment, with the immortal line, “You must be taking the piss, there’s a church in town, you’re gonna need their help more than mine.” He’s probably right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 184

Today, my boyfriend managed to convince me that Australia was called a penal colony because all the prisoners were men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 3 163

Today, I drove for three hours to surprise a girl after surgery. My truck broke down outside her place, and it turns out she's over an hour away at her family's place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 214