Miscellaneous: Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML - FML

By woahitbechels - 25/04/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 986

You deserved it 12 594

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Same thing different taste

By gonavybeatarmy - 31/05/2012 05:28 - United States - San Diego

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 4 986

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 19:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 113

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 25/09/2015 20:14 - Germany

Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 567

You deserved it 2 516

By BrittUnicorn - 06/07/2015 15:14 - United States - Morristown

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 641

You deserved it 3 679

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 045

You deserved it 2 323

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 367

You deserved it 5 212

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 18:11 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 406

You deserved it 5 960

By imawesomeokay - 20/07/2013 05:53 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 243

You deserved it 10 963

Secret sex

By anonymous - 01/12/2019 14:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I had a dream that I had secret sex with Dumbledore more than once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 457

Woah

By Hopeless - 04/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying, “Woah no thanks.” Cool, I get rejected even in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 290

Next

Top comments

LuckyLogic 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:00

Did you drink tiger blood?

Bill3485 3

Monday 25 April 2011 9:05

fyl? no way, your life is #winning!

Comments

lamAzn 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:09

I got kidnapped by Charlie the unicorn today.

LuckyLogic 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:17

winning!

OMG_N3RD 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:03

16 Jessica frm SNSD

NinjaKat99 0

Monday 25 April 2011 19:03

winning!

HeaRTs_Girl 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:10

Creepy. I don't know how that poor, pathetic man is even still alive. I mean, he looks and acts pretty far gone...Anyway, sorry you dreamt that I guess. No one likes a scary dream. :-(

esme3101 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:36

I love your picture:)

OCDC 9

Monday 25 April 2011 13:08

It's Spongebob on Charlie Sheen

PassTheDutch 0

Monday 25 April 2011 15:54

I always knew spongebob smoked weed.

TattsNdVodka 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 6:13

win!

Big_K92 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 23:27

Charlie Sheen isn't pathetic! He wins here, he wins there, he's BI-WINNING!

desilovesandy 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:11

At least it didn't happened and plus its just a dream not a thing to be posted on here it wasnt that bad! like Come on! -.-"'

jissie 6

Monday 25 April 2011 9:11

With the drugs he's got access too are you sure it was a dream?

Bill3485 3

Monday 25 April 2011 9:20

it was just winning!

TattsNdVodka 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 6:17

co-sign

jimmy0332 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:12

Bi-polar? pffft What does that mean? I'm Bi-WINNING!!!

iftheglovefits 0

Tuesday 26 April 2011 2:44

that's just Charlie the Pygmy! LMAFO!

bolshevisky 12

Monday 25 April 2011 9:12

Same thing happened to the goddesses except they realized it wasn't a dream.

jesse1562 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:13

Is it just me or did this fml kinda rhyme

BooGhosted 0

Monday 25 April 2011 10:18

ahaha nice didn't catch that before niceee

NinjaKat99 0

Monday 25 April 2011 19:05

I heard that too...... dream, sheen..... kinda!

freddyisepic 2

Monday 25 April 2011 9:13

Well at least it wasnt the pedo bear kidnaping you

HeaRTs_Girl 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:16

I'd also like to say to SOME of you assholes that it's bullshit that someone has to be dying for you to deem a story worthy to be on this site. It's a ******* humor site - albeit there are some FMLs that can be rather tragic. READ THE FAQ'S. >_

yummcookie 0

Monday 25 April 2011 10:12

but it is odd how this gets up and the genuinely bad stuff that happens to people, no matter how funny often doesn't make it passed moderation

xdust 4

Monday 25 April 2011 9:16

I'm not the only one!

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The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, I had a dream about sleeping, which is a dream I have frequently. I’m exhausted even when I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 151

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about superheroes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 692

You deserved it 4 131

Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 148

You deserved it 4 228

Today, I'm 20 years old and never been kissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 394

You deserved it 7 344

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wrote 50 dollars on my gift card just to look generous, it's really only worth five. I found this out after I tried to buy an arm full of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 157

You deserved it 3 131

Today, I came across a picture of my grandpa taking a hit off a bong, while wearing nothing but a Playboy shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 209

You deserved it 4 374