Today, I dropped a brand new jar of molasses into the corner... - FML

By BeastieHouse - 14/02/2019 00:00

Today, I dropped a brand new jar of molasses into the corner of my completely white kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 468

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Same thing different taste

By welcometomylife - 23/05/2017 12:00 - Germany - Hanover

Today, after a shitty day, I went to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. When I grabbed the salt container, the bottom lid came off and the salt went everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 937

You deserved it 374

Craft beer bores

By Sticky - 08/11/2020 17:02 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, just before bed, I decided to put away the dry washing. I ended up knocking over my boyfriend's precious brewing ginger beer. It took me an hour to clean it off the floor, cupboards, door, outside and inside of the fridge. Everything is still sticky and smells of yeast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 376

Hangry boi

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 117

By Badlucked - 03/05/2019 06:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 388

Smooth blend

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 16:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 346

Ain't it funky

By Anonymous - 05/12/2011 00:40 - United States

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 238

You deserved it 49 178

By Username - 13/02/2012 21:31 - India

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 911

You deserved it 4 797

The Blob

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 17:02 - Germany

Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 287

By Anonymous - 08/02/2016 17:43 - Austria

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 904

You deserved it 1 788

Hangry

By Pam - 04/11/2022 06:00 - Chile - Santiago

Today, I accidentally dropped the batch of bread that was ready for the oven, after waiting for two hours. We have nothing else to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 184

Next

Top comments

Dave_Davington 33

Thursday 14 February 2019 0:08

Lifehack: If you leave it there, the ants will eventually get rid of it for you.

Kira Graycloud 4

Thursday 14 February 2019 1:06

should be easy to tell if you got it all when you are done cleaning.

Comments

Dave_Davington 33

Thursday 14 February 2019 0:08

Lifehack: If you leave it there, the ants will eventually get rid of it for you.

ajh1800 25

Thursday 14 February 2019 0:12

So clean it up and buy more...

Kira Graycloud 4

Thursday 14 February 2019 1:06

should be easy to tell if you got it all when you are done cleaning.

Aphrodite 20

Thursday 14 February 2019 1:09

So....clean it?

Phil 14

Thursday 14 February 2019 1:36

So at the very worst, your kitchen smells like you've been baking cookies for a little while. You clean it, and your life will be fine.

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 14 February 2019 3:43

Well obviously none of them have ever tried to clean up molasses it's like trying to clean up glue and to help get rid of the staining try white vinegar ☺️

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 14 February 2019 7:41

What? You have a few weeks to clean it up before the puddle spreads out.

darkshadus 10

Thursday 14 February 2019 11:47

why would you have an all white kitchen?

newbiemalestr8 26

Thursday 14 February 2019 19:55

EXACTLY

Amy78_fml 11

Thursday 14 February 2019 12:49

I think Molasses will clean. It isn't like you dropped a container of red Kool-aid.

Tarlachia 33

Thursday 14 February 2019 20:28

Your recovery attempt was slow as molasses.

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

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Today, after I broke up yet another fight between my sons, I demanded to know why they hate each other and fight all the time. After some blank looks they said, almost in unison, “It is the way” and wouldn’t explain what they meant. Even the internet isn’t being helpful here. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 203

Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 513

You deserved it 1 448

Today, some guy at the bus stop screamed at me because the bus was coming and I wasn’t wearing my mask. I was standing 25 feet from the stop finishing a smoke and there was no one around me. When I sat down on the bus, with my mask on, he stared me down the whole ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 177

Today, while at work in a medical office, I had the itchiest and most distracting bug bite. I went the supply closet and got an alcohol cleansing wipe to help cool it off. It worked great but I was then fired for theft for using what costs less than a tenth of a cent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 92

Today, it’s my first day staying with my aunt since the untimely passing of my parents last week. So far, she slapped my phone out my hand for being on the phone with a guy, feeds me vegan food, and told me to “turn off that black people music.” Only a year and a half left until I turn 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 008

You deserved it 115

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 102

You deserved it 5 188