Love: Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

By fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 120

You deserved it 7 282

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Same thing different taste

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 843

You deserved it 5 283

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 07:23 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 912

You deserved it 3 236

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 841

You deserved it 3 013

Nervous

By amelie - 09/12/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 727

You deserved it 714

By nameless - 12/07/2009 06:45 - United States

Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 283

You deserved it 11 862

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 043

You deserved it 1 747

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 046

You deserved it 3 420

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 501

You deserved it 10 828

Bad timing, dude

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 07:59 - Australia

Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 150

By Anonymous - 13/08/2015 01:18 - United States - Kingman

Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 410

You deserved it 5 202

ComoEsJuan 24

Thursday 27 November 2014 18:16

Breaking the ice by breaking wind. I'll take notes.

fuckyourlifeOP 25

Thursday 27 November 2014 18:16

That stinks!

Comments

PSYqualiac 17

Friday 28 November 2014 20:16

It's fart privately before, let yourself air out, fart again after she's said yes and walked away or right when she says no... then blame it on her.

maddieray26 8

Saturday 29 November 2014 5:01

Because, I'm so fancy.

SaintJohnny 2

Saturday 29 November 2014 10:23

did she fart back in response for a yes??

Fonsecac 11

Saturday 29 November 2014 17:28

Enough said haha

mollysantan01 5

Sunday 30 November 2014 6:10

Damn, what did the girl say??

MAXINEEE 4

Sunday 30 November 2014 6:47

It's ok... I took a huge dump In a restaurant with my boyfriend once. He still doesn't know

demonfacee 14

Tuesday 2 December 2014 4:30

Everybody farts. Some people just can't admit that.

Lefty_Guns 16

Friday 5 December 2014 14:20

He's just a smooth operatooor... youtu.be/4TYv2PhG89A?t=1m13s

briafly27 4

Tuesday 9 December 2014 21:35

A guy burped twice while asking me out. I felt so bad for him, I went even though I wasn't at all interested.

Domonator 16

Thursday 11 December 2014 0:13

Proper sphincter control is required for successful dating.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 111

Today, I came home early from work. My boyfriend and I live together. I open the door and I found my best friend watching TV on the couch, wearing lingerie. The room smelled like sex. She acted irrational and defensive, and had the audacity to ask what I was doing here. Bitch, I live here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 837

You deserved it 143

The Top

Today, as I was getting my mail, I noticed I'd received a free coupon from a baby supply store, saying, "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I live with. All she had to say was, "Surprise!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 120

You deserved it 17 326

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that I see a therapist every week because, amongst other things, I'm terrified of being locked in a room. He didn't believe me, so he locked me in the bathroom "for a laugh." I had a panic attack and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 758

You deserved it 139

Today, my ex friend turned half the school against me, saying I stole and damaged her phone, both lies. Things escalated and she threatened to jump me if I didn't apologize. I apologized but now she's making me pay money for something I didn't do, and I'm seriously considering a restraining order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 176

Today, I found out that a burglar broke into my house. Since I didn't have expensive stuff for them to steal, they took my Fleshlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 209

Today, I was hosting my kid's birthday party. I had a bunch of small trinkets, so I grabbed the first container I could find to put them in. It wasn’t until I went out and someone yelled, "I’ll take a heavy flow!" that I realized it was an empty tampon box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 706

Today, my dad tried to confiscate my car keys because he doesn’t like how late I stay out on the weekends. I’m 26, have owned my own home since I was 24, and also how the fuck does he know what time I get home? My own dad is stalking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 91

Same thing different taste

My body hates me

Nervous

Bad timing, dude

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