Intimacy: Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore...

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By Lonely - 02/01/2010 10:30 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 436

You deserved it 7 460

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 20:00

Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 866

You deserved it 1 618

By 44haley44 - 12/07/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 776

You deserved it 57 291

Involuntary

By hannahthedino - 20/07/2021 04:01 - United States

Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 138

By Sleepy head - 07/10/2013 01:34 - United States

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 786

You deserved it 15 050

Cranking

By Lonely Wanker - 26/02/2021 23:00

Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 374

By pornhastaughtmenothing - 21/02/2013 08:46 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 419

You deserved it 11 657

Can't be bothered

By Anonymous - 06/07/2019 00:30

Today, I realised just how lazy I am when I was about to masturbate, but decided not to because I didn't want to put in the effort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 1 742

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 218

You deserved it 39 618

Bang one out

By exhausted without relief - 08/02/2023 14:00

Today, I’ve been so stressed out lately about my health and mounting bills that my insomnia has returned with vengeance. I thought I’d masturbate to help get some relief, but turns out I’m too tired to even do the deed. Too exhausted to release, but my brain still won’t let me sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 174

By MrAries - 02/03/2016 11:45 - United States

Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 774

You deserved it 2 332

spitfire35 3

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:13

At least better than falling asleep while having sex. Oh wait, for that you'd need to be having sex.

itouchguy360 3

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:12

maybe you were just tired?

Comments

hartattack4k 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:33

FYD

cdawg4444 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:51

sounds like you whack it too much. you need a new hobby. or a girlfriend.

jpest17 5

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:54

duh everyone know it makes people tired! I do it sometimes to fall asleep.

waterynuggets 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 0:57

LMAO

iankennedy17 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 2:14

i'm with #6. go for it haha

brittany1013 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 2:35

that's just a bit sad..

lynsieloowho 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 2:36

go with the stranger

razz27 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 2:37

hahahaha holly shit ur sex drive sucks or ur **** does. maybe u shouldnt be jerking it when ur tired.

Dx2 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 2:45

tht sux..

perdix 29

Sunday 3 January 2010 3:48

So, did the bus driver wake you up at your stop, or did he drop you off at the police station and turn you in for indecent exposure?

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