Health: Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket....

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 578

You deserved it 4 361

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 047

You deserved it 3 420

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 743

You deserved it 893

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 569

You deserved it 41 812

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 249

You deserved it 14 868

By combovercaiti_ - 25/01/2019 12:00

Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 289

You deserved it 372

UTI

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 07:01 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 1 069

Bad day #74746

By orourkeda - 14/04/2021 10:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 187

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 599

You deserved it 8 495

Leaking

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our local supermarket. Ten feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants' legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new supermarket, maybe a new town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 629

You deserved it 3 631

Poot

By dumblonde76 - 14/09/2021 07:00 - United States - Jackson

Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 380

people_annoy_me 23

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:26

What a bad shituation you're in.

SpartyOnWayne 18

Saturday 18 July 2015 8:41

Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it's probably shit

Comments

persianchick 13

Saturday 18 July 2015 12:15

" locate the source of smell" it sounds like you planted a bomb or some shit xD

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 18 July 2015 14:47

So people were following you like dogs? Or at least trying to...

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Saturday 18 July 2015 15:39

You might need to find a new supermarket.

LycanGod 27

Saturday 18 July 2015 16:02

always do it near the exit of the store lol. or their washroom. in case of emergencies

inolongercare 19

Saturday 18 July 2015 20:41

You know the saying "never trust a fart". It is a true saying.

trevorr_16 25

Saturday 18 July 2015 21:39

If there was some serious has building up, why didn't you use the restroom? More than likely, it's gonna be more than a fart.

stumpyj 10

Saturday 18 July 2015 21:44

YDI for not going to the bathroom. Stop farting in public, please.

s0728 17

Saturday 18 July 2015 22:39

Why didn't you just go to restroom? Then you could fart or poop, and either way it'd be okay.

nightfall8705 33

Sunday 19 July 2015 2:10

Story time, folks! One time, my brother and I were standing in line at a Walmart (of course!) and it was a really long line, but fortunately, there was only one man in front of us. He kept looking around all nervous and suspicious, and he was fumbling with getting his debit card to work. I was talking to my brother, and suddenly, in mid sentence, I was hit by a brick wall of stank. It was one of the most rancid things I had ever smelt, and it immediately made me start coughing. I heard coughing and gagging behind me, and people saying "ugh, oh my God, it smells like rotten shit!" The teenaged girl behind me said her eyes began to water because of the smell. The man in front of us looked around again all nervous-like and then proceeded to make a strange face. The cashier lady just stared at him. He then took his bags in his hand, and scurried off as fast as he could go. When I stepped up to the counter to place my items on it, the cashier lady said to me, "I think that man shit his pants." I said, "I think so too." The cashier lady looked horrified. The smell was that bad. Moral of the story - It's embarrassing, but it happens to everyone. You may need to shop somewhere else for a little while, OP. Just be glad you didn't run into 50 million people you know in the grocery store. It would be hard to live that shart down then... so consider yourself lucky, and never trust a fart, ever.

NotFrench_AtAll 11

Sunday 19 July 2015 2:55

Never & I mean Never, Hold in a fart. Always let one go and just casually walk to an area where there's minimal to no people . I feel your pain though.