Health: Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep...

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By Terri-Lynn - 30/05/2012 20:25 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 785

You deserved it 4 427

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Same thing different taste

By screaming monkey - 04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 304

You deserved it 2 120

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 280

You deserved it 4 489

The joys of motherhood

By Bear - 24/05/2022 00:01

Today, I've had such bad constipation during my fourth pregnancy that I have now had to manually scoop the poop out of my ass to get things moving again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 169

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 02:35 - United States - Mascotte

Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor, even if you have a C-section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 629

You deserved it 1 805

By John - 24/06/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 129

You deserved it 3 431

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 17:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 821

You deserved it 3 073

By jack - 27/08/2015 10:56 - United Kingdom - London

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 178

You deserved it 2 428

Dumping

By Baby Momma - 20/01/2022 22:00 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I found out that my breathing exercises I learned during pregnancy will not be for nothing after ending up having a C-section, because I'll apparently need them every time I relieve myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 121

Getting on

By Anonymous - 23/06/2020 17:01

Today, I’m at the stage of my life where a normal bowel movement is practically a cause for celebration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 446

You deserved it 157

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 129

DocBastard 38

Thursday 31 May 2012 1:28

The pain of an anal fissure is said to feel like ******** shards of glass. Sounds like the loudest screams will be coming from your bathroom rather than from your nursery.

tygerarmy 35

Thursday 31 May 2012 1:29

Between your bowel movements and not getting any sleep because of your newborn your life's going to be a pain in your ass.

Comments

yourmofo 6

Thursday 31 May 2012 4:20

What? Are you saving them for a rainy day or something? I hear of people not taking dumps for days on end. WTF? Probably need a shoe horn to assist.

brookayyy 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 4:38

I'm not going to lie, that's really gross.

kingchelsea 3

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:01

you're supposed to take the stool softeners they give you!! my Dr gave me some to take home with both my babies. and then I made the home nurses give me more lol. f.y.l but y d I

austin101123 3

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:06

You should have listened to your doctor. You deserve it (YDI).

daxter136 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:10

Laxitives

hateevryone 14

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:39

Damn I know thats gotta hurt.

rammy125 4

Thursday 31 May 2012 5:59

Always listen to the doctor. You think they give you advise just to hear themselves speak?

DocBastard 38

Thursday 31 May 2012 6:03

No, we also do it to sound smart and to make boatloads of money. But mainly for the money.

duhhduhh 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 6:19

I hear ya

duhhduhh 0

Thursday 31 May 2012 6:17

Oh shit... I remember that... Lmao when I finally was able to poop it felt like I pooped a tennis ball... Sorry op.. It will get better

SakeGurl 9

Thursday 31 May 2012 7:19

Sorry I hope you feel better soon. My mom has IBS and Diverticulitis . She has suffered for years, just be glad it won't last your whole life. Ydi cause you did it to yourself. My mom suffers daily and doesn't deserve it.