Intimacy: Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I...

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 067

You deserved it 86 743

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
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Same thing different taste

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 826

You deserved it 26 505

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 683

You deserved it 47 023

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 604

You deserved it 88 967

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 117

You deserved it 3 953

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 764

You deserved it 73 911

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 530

You deserved it 13 119

By douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 213

You deserved it 20 253

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 157

You deserved it 8 006

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 307

You deserved it 5 023

By Sully - 07/02/2010 00:17 - United States

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 706

You deserved it 23 194

woofer_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"

jennaleigh 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:25

You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.

Comments

Prestige768 0

Monday 30 March 2009 6:07

official best award goes to... *drum roll* YOU for being so epicfail! Now tell me, what happened later? :p

greatnt249 0

Monday 30 March 2009 6:13

#67, I suggest you take my advice and learn the difference between "convince" and "coerce."

WendlaMimii 0

Monday 30 March 2009 6:31

#11, the "n" in "nazi" should be capitalized.

12frisbees 0

Monday 30 March 2009 6:32

all the comments about 'going for it while she's out' really sadden me, even if they're jokes. date rape jokes get a whole lot less funny after it happens to you. i know requesting this never works, but just to say it: please, people, consider how sadly common rape is before you make digs about it.

slapper23 0

Monday 30 March 2009 7:09

I am a little suspicious that everyone on FML that bumps there head becomes on conscious.. could happen, but it seems like it happens an awful lot!

DynamiteDoodle 0

Monday 30 March 2009 7:23

Haha, that's rough. It was kinda sweet how you wanted to be romantic, but at least now you know that this stuff doesn't always work like it does in the movies! :P

Ohnoitslindsay 0

Monday 30 March 2009 7:42

Agreed with #90. As "funny" as you are, its distasteful and hurtful.

Miss_Me 0

Monday 30 March 2009 8:28

You may have seen the 'carrying her to the bed' thing in a movie, but I've seen the 'head whacked into the door-frame' on many a sit-com. It sounds fake to me but if it's not, it's more of an fherlife than an fyourlife.