Miscellaneous: Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy...

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I went to Walgreen's for a tub of Vaseline. The old guy at the counter looked at me, winked, and said, "Not having too much luck with the ladies, eh?" He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 082

You deserved it 13 982

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/06/2013 14:29 - United States - Greenwood

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 563

You deserved it 10 548

Spotted

By Taylor D - 07/08/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes, "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it this much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 210

You deserved it 4 516

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 752

You deserved it 2 731

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 281

You deserved it 4 578

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 04:00

Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 218

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 292

You deserved it 12 379

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 06:45 - Canada - Oakville

Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 758

You deserved it 1 816

By ghgfd - 06/03/2013 14:53 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 871

You deserved it 4 425

By secretdeo - 24/08/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 481

You deserved it 5 354

By anonymous - 11/04/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 531

You deserved it 86 237

pb_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:24

Obviousy he hasn't either because he knows exactly what to do with that.

jennaleigh 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

This is gross, but pretty amusing.

Comments

jennaleigh 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

This is gross, but pretty amusing.

quent10 0

Monday 5 July 2010 20:03

you shoulda said... no ur mom asked me to buy it

pohkerfayce 0

Monday 30 August 2010 4:14

maybe you should go with him.

ninjacapo 2

Tuesday 3 January 2012 3:39

Haha 97 he shoulda said "nah ur moms ass is so tight we need all the lube we can get

Effekt 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:24

HAHAHAHAH

pb_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:24

Obviousy he hasn't either because he knows exactly what to do with that.

nosedive1994 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 1:46

true lol

nickliu1211 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 16:13

haha

Erik_Holmgren 0

Sunday 12 December 2010 9:11

lol

rydin10 18

Sunday 23 February 2014 7:14

He's an old man...

happinessNmisery 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:24

people take things way too seriously, i'm sure he was just kidding.

newmxr 0

Sunday 21 November 2010 1:28

agreed

im_emile 4

Thursday 21 June 2012 7:31

I'm sure OP knows that, but the fact that he was right is the FML part, I'm guessing.

zbots 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:28

If you really have to lube yourself, I'm not sure an oil based one is the right way to go...

xMooMoox 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:30

Vaseline is pretty messy. I'm not a guy but I think I would prefer something else!

tpm45 25

Thursday 28 November 2013 21:20

I can assure you it's perfectly fine. Especially when you don't want to go buying "proper" stuff in public.

rebockaa 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:30

hahahaaa. that sucks dude!

chelseybuns 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:32

Wow. Was that in public. if other people heard!!! OUCH!!!!!! Well at least you'll always have your vaseline!!

Synthetic42 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:35

eesh not exactly the way you hoped it would go

rinaldy 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:35

haha #2 thats really funny

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 096

You deserved it 880

The Top

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 527

You deserved it 12 104

Today, I found out that the insurance that my husband signed us up with for next year doesn't cover any of our doctors. Now we need to find 4 different doctors who take our insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 014

You deserved it 866

Today, I felt suicidal and told my mum I was going to hang myself from my curtain rod. All she cared about was the rod possibly coming loose and damaging the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 325

Today, I got a new phone. Only after berating the Sprint employee and Apple support desk because I could not call, text, or access the Internet did I find out that I didn't need to buy a new phone. It was just on airplane mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 003

You deserved it 29 461

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 920

You deserved it 111 669

Today, I made my boyfriend a beautiful dinner of seafood and rice. This was the first time I could afford lobster, and thought it would be a great treat for us both. I learned that this was the first time he has eaten lobster, and he learned that he is allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 209

You deserved it 525

Same thing different taste

Spotted

Top comments

Comments