Intimacy: Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I...

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 067

You deserved it 86 743

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Same thing different taste

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 826

You deserved it 26 505

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 683

You deserved it 47 023

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 604

You deserved it 88 967

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 117

You deserved it 3 953

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 764

You deserved it 73 911

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 530

You deserved it 13 119

By douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 213

You deserved it 20 253

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 157

You deserved it 8 006

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/09/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 307

You deserved it 5 023

By Sully - 07/02/2010 00:17 - United States

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 706

You deserved it 23 194

woofer_fml 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

LOL. ahahahahaha Note to self, "we're not in movies"

jennaleigh 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:25

You fail to mention whether you proceeded or not. Oh, and good job, sparky.

Comments

cthulhu1138 1

Monday 30 March 2009 3:14

How is convincing someone to have sex borderline rape? By those standards, all advertisers would be in jail for larceny.

savy_77 0

Monday 30 March 2009 3:17

I saw the girl version on here not long ago...

Carlynator09 0

Monday 30 March 2009 3:19

haha FAIL!!!!! but that sux, im guessing that she didnt want to do it with you after that

the_poop_bandit 0

Monday 30 March 2009 3:28

"a girl that you like"? so does she like you back? because if she did wouldnt that constitute you calling her a "girlfriend" or " a girl youve been talking to" instead of "a girl that you like." this girl must be real **** and needed a slam to the head

planetearth 0

Monday 30 March 2009 3:30

It's probably because you wanted to swoop her off of her feet instead of sweeping her off of her feet like you're supposed to. DUH.

LoveMeTURBO 0

Monday 30 March 2009 3:36

god... this is worse than the sombrero fail.....

Toadlord 0

Monday 30 March 2009 3:37

All the better for you dude.

jayhawk63 0

Monday 30 March 2009 3:38

This is definitely a repeat. Either that or there are two people in this world who think all sex should be "like the movies" and really fail at it...which is just too much to think about.

Tall_Kid 0

Monday 30 March 2009 3:50

so.... did you keep going after she was out?

woahmanmeaghan 0

Monday 30 March 2009 3:54

53...i'm pretty sure my (now ex) boyfriend would disagree with you on the sex bit. it was just a question of whether or not we were ready for it. he needed more time to think about it, and since i was in favor of it, i told him my reasons for wanting to. face it, not everyone is going to be of the same opinion at the same time. the reason people talk about sex is to figure out if they're 'ready,' and to state your case to let the other person see why you think it's a good or bad idea. i would say that's pretty close to convincing. you're reading a bit too into the word choice here. i'm gonna side with 55 and 56 here.