Intimacy: Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed,...

By jsalmons - 02/06/2011 17:39 - Germany

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 547

You deserved it 5 341

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Same thing different taste

Cravings

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 05:00

I agree, your life sucks 4 406

You deserved it 339

The single life

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 22:00 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me while I'm deployed overseas. Her reason why is that she needs "to be alone to better herself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 97

Just Dependa Things

By Anonymous - 14/04/2022 13:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, I came home from a one-year Army deployment, only for my wife to tell me she feels claustrophobic with me in the bed. She then asked for a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 108

By copenhagen20 - 05/03/2010 20:21 - United States

Today, I'm seven months into a twelve month deployment. I called my fiancée, and she dumped me. The worst part is that two days ago, I re-enlisted to go to a unit an hour away from her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 241

You deserved it 2 505

Really struggling, huh?

By Anonymous - 27/09/2023 10:00

Today, after I was on deployment 6000 miles away, and because my wife was struggling pretty bad with work, kids, and taking care of everything on her own, she finally had a breakdown so I came home early to help. I found out she was fucking another Navy dude the whole time. I should've stayed out there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 117

By Xerfox - 20/06/2016 20:34 - Germany - Neckarsulm

Today, I flew to Germany to meet up with a girl that I met in America 5 months ago and fell in love with. We've been talking every day for 5 months straight. I get here just for her to tell me that she likes me "like a brother". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 379

You deserved it 1 916

Proof of love

By oh. - 15/12/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I flew cross-country to see my girlfriend of three years. Once I got there, she broke up with me. I was supposed to be staying for a month and now I have nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 495

You deserved it 182

Frying pan, meet fire

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 22:00

Today, I got back from an 8 month deployment but rather than being pleased to see me my wife wanted to continue the same argument we were having the day I left. I miss being shot at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 136

Nice welcome

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got back from a six month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of three years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 803

You deserved it 6 441

By blasted - 25/11/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 298

You deserved it 3 891

rawr9able 4

Friday 3 June 2011 2:00

Pimp slap her for me will ya? People like her piss me off, buy a damn ***** and call it good if you can't handle your man being away for so long.

bluetiger105 0

Friday 3 June 2011 2:03

What a bitch. She didn't even make it for one day, let alone a year. Dump her ass.

Comments

kandii_kidd 0

Friday 3 June 2011 4:19

couldve she have waited until she knew you were gone gone damn sorry op

saintninja 0

Friday 3 June 2011 4:23

your saving people's lives while she is pleasuring herself that's messed up

HyundaiOwner7 0

Friday 3 June 2011 4:25

Um... no.

dennis96411 12

Friday 3 June 2011 4:26

True love waits...

cheyenne_audrie_ 0

Friday 3 June 2011 4:27

seriously save yourself the trouble and divorce her. it's just going to bite you in the ass later. get out while you can.

RockstarRN 10

Friday 3 June 2011 4:28

She's not the one for you then!

joeybull 0

Friday 3 June 2011 4:30

that's awful! time to say goodbye for good!

birdfreak 24

Friday 3 June 2011 4:39

get her a ***** and attach it to a pillow or something ; )

Fade2Black_fml 0

Friday 3 June 2011 4:40

I say off that bitch 4 sure..

AznRiceBox 0

Friday 3 June 2011 4:54

I'll be fateful to u

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 277

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, my mom was on my Facebook and saw a chick leave a nasty comment on my status. My mom commented back something awful and really bitchy. My mom still fights my fights for me. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 745

You deserved it 8 067

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 453

You deserved it 9 947

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 837

You deserved it 62 113

Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 306

Today, as my 12-hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 035

You deserved it 2 511

Today, I went clubbing. A girl I was dancing with leaned in with a disgusted expression and said, "God, it stinks! Someone keeps farting… I swear they've got IBS." It was me. I have IBS. I was farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 482