Animals: Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently,... - FML

By ghoul - 08/03/2011 11:32

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 852

You deserved it 4 242

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Same thing different taste

It's alive!

By notmyrealname123 - 25/08/2014 00:08 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 730

You deserved it 6 431

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 703

You deserved it 18 302

By "jonnybones223" - 08/03/2019 04:00

Today, I was awakened by my father saying how proud he was of his little boy. I assumed he meant me, since I landed an apprenticeship in the same union he's worked in for 25 years. Turns out he was speaking about his cat, who left a dead squirrel next to my bed. I stepped on the damn thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 260

You deserved it 224

By Sid - 10/04/2011 00:58 - United States

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 702

You deserved it 41 773

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 486

You deserved it 15 525

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:42 - Ireland

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 927

You deserved it 3 207

By Facepalmum - 10/01/2013 06:28 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 590

You deserved it 7 939

By tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 344

You deserved it 1 596

By orilykid - 31/10/2012 17:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 099

You deserved it 1 961

By Anonymous - 20/06/2013 16:54 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 737

You deserved it 3 443

Next

Top comments

savy7093 9

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:04

What's his name?

Ranimal 12

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:05

Future serial killer!

Comments

dragon0000 7

Thursday 24 March 2011 8:00

I've done that once I think but with a cat I think.

scarecrow96797 2

Sunday 27 March 2011 0:21

You know what they say about kids and their early fascination with dead animals? Just ask the victims of Dahmer.

JenniferTheDark 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 21:48

YDI for not SMELLING it first. If he wets the bed, get him to a mental asylum, he's at risk for being a serial killer.

zycrone 5

Saturday 24 December 2011 8:00

i say you deserve it because its clear that your son is so desperate for a pet that you won't let him have that he'll adopt dead stuff. Couldn't even let him have a goldfish...

Celestia_fml 6

Sunday 3 November 2013 21:38

YDI for not getting that poor boy a pet sooner!

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The Top

Today, I finally got prescribed something for my skin problems. The good news: It works really well. The bad news: When the doctor said one of the potential side effects was a "horrible rash," she really meant it when she said, "horrible." I swear to God, I was about to rip my chest open, due to it itching so hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 99

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 325

You deserved it 4 035

The Top

Today, my boyfriend fed a "random mushroom from the woods" to my rabbit. It then had a violent seizure and died. He claims it must have been from "natural causes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 076

You deserved it 2 082

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 377

You deserved it 101 624

Today, I got stood up on a date. To add insult to injury, meeting up was her idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 98

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 680

You deserved it 3 509

Today, I asked my boss if he was getting temp workers to cover the three ladies from my office on maternity for at least the next two years. He laughed at my fine joke, then said my office will just have to cope. I’m the only member of that office left. I have to do the work of four people for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 132

Today, while paying for dinner, my card declined and my date immediately left. The waitress then ran my card again successfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 248

You deserved it 211