Animals: Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it...

By Anonymous - 13/11/2012 23:17 - United States - Killington

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 897

You deserved it 5 658

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Same thing different taste

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 9 201

By ArtistBlock - 25/11/2016 05:10

Today, I was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner. I dressed and stuffed the turkey, popped it in the oven and sent a mass text out to my family about how amazing it would be. Everyone arrived, we began making plates of food when I checked the turkey, and realized I never even turned on the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 459

You deserved it 6 193

By Anonymous - 03/03/2013 14:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 397

You deserved it 50 190

By Cinderstar95 - 28/12/2016 09:34 - United States - Schererville

Today, my dad and brother found a Christmas present that they'd "forgotten" to give me. Expecting a joke, I apprehensively opened it. But I still wasn't prepared to unwrap the neck of the Christmas turkey. It had been rotting in the living room for 2 days. The smell was indescribable. FML

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You deserved it 437

Scarfing it down

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom sent me home with some delicious-looking BBQ ribs because I'd missed a cookout due to work. I set them on the counter, intent on putting them in the oven, but had to make a quick run to the bathroom. I came back to find my roommate's cat sitting in the plate, covered in sauce, as he helped himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 408

By Ketchup - 22/06/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 791

You deserved it 49 897

Panic in the sheets

By Anonymous - 02/09/2018 03:30

Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 568

You deserved it 250

Look at that

By That escalated quickly - 24/06/2015 19:45 - United States - Ocean City

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

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You deserved it 4 289

The bird

By Mariah Barnes - 24/07/2020 08:01

Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 754

You deserved it 253

By Birdwatcher - 18/09/2012 16:19 - United States - Woodstock

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 202

You deserved it 4 743

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 14 November 2012 8:23

What kind of mom would just discover a turkey in a cage in her home and not think to ask anyone about it before slaughtering it for dinner? I don't understand

Kallian_fml 21

Wednesday 14 November 2012 8:26

Redneck mom ftw.

Comments

Neonemerld 21

Wednesday 14 November 2012 9:49

23, OP doesn't care WHAT meat he's eating so much as WHOSE meat he's eating. That would be like eating your pet dog or cat, or your pet bird.

decidedlyvague 11

Wednesday 14 November 2012 10:06

Deep fried turkey > ham... Also, it's a toss up between deep fried turkey and bacon. Maybe covering a deep fried turkey in bacon? Either way, animals are delicious. Also... Turkeys aren't dogs or cats. They're a symbolic creature meant to be eaten on thanksgiving.

LtBrenton 16

Wednesday 14 November 2012 10:40

Also known as just another typical day in Vermont. :P

Speshul 3

Wednesday 14 November 2012 10:45

I'm confused, did it taste bad or something?

Trix_Disorder 20

Wednesday 14 November 2012 11:24

Turkey's one of the leanest (read: healthiest) meats out there. Maybe you guys should consider eating it more often.

fml121785 14

Wednesday 14 November 2012 11:40

Good for OP's mom! Turkeys are mean, evil, creatures that can't even fly and will corner, attack, and peck the crap out of you when you are 4 years old and traumatized you for life so that you are scared to death of anything with feathers! True story... :(

DoubleBlumpkin 4

Wednesday 14 November 2012 11:53

Hilarious. Don't get all butt hurt over a turkey, its whats for dinner!

justonecomment 2

Wednesday 14 November 2012 11:54

Don't eat it! Who knows what kinds of infectious diseases that bird could be carrying!

kittycat2007 18

Wednesday 14 November 2012 11:55

It suck's op but don't waste the turkey. It would be more cruel if it died for no reason. Give its death meaning by giving something else the (you) nourishment.