Miscellaneous: Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

By jocksblow - 14/11/2011 13:23 - United States

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 397

You deserved it 4 294

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Same thing different taste

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 311

You deserved it 21 672

By ohEw - 09/11/2017 10:00 - United States - Pasadena

Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 006

You deserved it 266

By commando - 27/09/2009 22:03 - United States

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 021

You deserved it 5 679

By rob - 23/11/2008 10:59 - France

Today, my mum prepared my bag for football practice. In the changing room I found one of her thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 360

You deserved it 4 527

By anon - 20/11/2015 00:53 - New Zealand

Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 648

You deserved it 2 231

By I'm out - 06/09/2016 17:02 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 519

You deserved it 1 363

By ydahs - 08/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 769

You deserved it 19 620

It's called fashion Susan, look it up

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 23:01

Today, I thought it'd be funny to give my younger brother a wedgie. I found the thong I thought I'd lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 433

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 22:00

Today, after a day of walking around downtown, shopping and going out to eat, I came home to notice I had a dirty thong stuck to the back of my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 647

John Tucker would've known what to do.

By Dan - 09/10/2017 04:30

Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 3 109

lborgens 0

Monday 14 November 2011 18:56

And this one time.... At band camp...

perdix 29

Monday 14 November 2011 18:52

So that's what you've been blowing for months.

Comments

Zombiii 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 2:21

somebody isnt very popular..

bri1215 7

Tuesday 15 November 2011 2:43

sounds yummy

spicyasscakes 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 3:26

who's the ****** with a tuba

dream1_fml 5

Tuesday 15 November 2011 3:50

So the tuba isnt the only thing you blow xD You should really clean your instrument more often!!

tacobell1996 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 3:50

can I have it

xXTwilight4LifeX 3

Tuesday 15 November 2011 3:58

Well that's not something you hear every day.

zombiedisco980 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 3:58

woohoo! free jock!

imslickzag 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 4:14

Yu shouldnt br in the band in the first place fa ggot(;

afulks78 11

Tuesday 15 November 2011 4:51

That's narsty

marktomscott1773 2

Tuesday 15 November 2011 4:51

today I found a tuba in my jock strap..

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Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 064

You deserved it 5 144

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because my ex tells every girl I go out with that I cheated on her. She DMs them screenshots of what I did. I know I’m no saint, but all that was 6 months ago, and it was an accident. I can’t change the past, but I can be sorry for what I did. I just can’t win in this situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 024

The Top

Today, I'm single. Last night, I decided it would be silly to leave my phone in my car before I went to my roommate's brother's birthday party. Highlights of the evening include: Beer Pong, a keg stand, and breaking up with my girlfriend via text message. I don't remember the last one. She does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 567

You deserved it 41 367

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 552

You deserved it 3 403

Today, my roommate told me she had developed a rash on her armpits, which causes them to be itchy. The doctor told her the only way to heal it is to not wear deodorant for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 173

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 420

You deserved it 3 880

Today, my 58 year-old mother told me she’s having a baby. Apparently she hasn’t started menopause yet, but assumed from her age she wouldn’t get pregnant when she started seeing a man she goes to bingo with. 58 years-old. My little brother/sister is going to be 36 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 87

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 870

You deserved it 57 055

Same thing different taste

It's called fashion Susan, look it up

John Tucker would've known what to do.

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