Intimacy: Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life....

By Mom - 11/06/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 500

You deserved it 5 596

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Same thing different taste

Love knows no boundaries

By Anonymous - 08/07/2020 14:01

Today, I found out my son's girlfriend is actually a webcam porn star he pays for private sessions. He’s somehow convinced himself they have a real relationship, and is spending thousands of pounds every week, on his credit card I may add. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 405

You deserved it 268

By T.C - 23/01/2010 12:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 192

You deserved it 2 521

By parent - 08/03/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 224

You deserved it 2 830

What are you doing here?

By sadmom - 18/03/2020 05:05

Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 429

By Pumpkin - 18/07/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 205

You deserved it 102 950

By FMLMom - 08/08/2012 08:02 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 856

You deserved it 4 638

Sneaky

By Suckered - 04/12/2015 21:47 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I found out my son was never accepted into the local university two years ago. He actually went out and got a job, and only lied about it so he could keep living in my house rent-free. The conniving bastard makes more than I do at my minimum-wage job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 716

You deserved it 4 734

By Jilly - 08/08/2011 06:45 - Australia

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 102

You deserved it 5 313

By Anonymous - 07/10/2009 23:12 - United States

Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 315

You deserved it 16 791

Hustlers

By Anonymous - 25/08/2022 02:00

Today, I found out that my 14-year-old son spent hundreds of dollars on what appears to be a misogynist multi-level marketing hustlers' website. How did he pay for this horseshit, and how did I found out? My PayPal account sent me emails, telling me that several purchases had been made, but too late for me stop them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 205

docscientist 9

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:29

He should've called himself "Peter Porker."

Nikki_ASW 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:25

Isn't that spiderman....?

Comments

Moota 9

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:30

I'm soo looking that up now....

ifailplzinsultme 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:30

Peter Parkers motto is "Always cums on time"

jackmay20 4

Sunday 12 June 2011 17:20

hahaha nice

ilovemusic7 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:31

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

ATLforever7 6

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:31

My childhood is ruined.

cyppy11 3

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:32

*insert Spider-Man joke now*

sebastianduarte1 0

Monday 13 June 2011 23:37

shut up

TheRealLori 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:35

Hope you didn't find that out after meeting up with him somewhere for a little web-swinging.

ProhibitionRose 14

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:39

>.>

flockz 19

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:39

and where does he hide his maryjane?

YacL 15

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:42

Don't worry, I thought it said Peter Pan at first, but I always double-read FMLs before commenting.

salvorican 24

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:45

Damn. You think Mary Jane knows? lol

truthteller202 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 6:06

mary Jane could be coming along since Mary Jane is a name for marijuana

MsMeiriona 2

Sunday 12 June 2011 23:58

hey, if she doesn't suspect something after he sold their marriage to the devil, she deserves it.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 297

You deserved it 14 748

Today, I took my girlfriend out to Outback Steakhouse. We went to one outside of town because my wife works at our local one. When we got there, guess who we saw? I forgot she transferred to another location, which just happened to be this one. Goddamit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 1 715

The Top

Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering their questions about him, when my dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through my teeth, and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 521

You deserved it 3 281

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 872

You deserved it 2 500

Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 276

You deserved it 4 138

Today, my sister came out of her room sobbing uncontrollably. When I asked what was wrong, she put her fingers in my face and asked if they smelled like pickles, and if "that's normal for girls". They did. It's not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 578

You deserved it 3 587

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 000

You deserved it 25 364

Today, my memory loss hit a new low as I was filling out paperwork and couldn't remember my son's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 124

You deserved it 491