Kids: Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten...

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 328

You deserved it 9 432

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 40 007

By omg - 25/03/2011 00:43 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 615

You deserved it 8 721

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 722

You deserved it 3 605

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 247

By Grant - 11/01/2013 00:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 763

You deserved it 3 111

By Gumfanatic302 - 07/05/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 143

You deserved it 3 190

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 369

You deserved it 71 862

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 507

Teach what you know

By E…… - 24/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 761

By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 123

You deserved it 13 074

The_Thinker 18

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:09

Does your daughter happen to overhear you and your partner's late night escapades, by any chance?

supbabes 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:11

Well at least her impersonation of "grown-ups" is spot on!

Comments

mom2pen 4

Thursday 21 June 2012 17:27

Agree with 55, get her to a doctor, definite sign of abuse.

Raylosophy 10

Thursday 21 June 2012 17:27

Maybe you should be more careful about letting your daughter see and/or hear you during sex.

ManInTheMachine 19

Thursday 21 June 2012 17:28

GVirdi: Yeah, she's joking. ladyLALAA is a regular, so she definitely knows what OP is. She's probably just in a trolling mood. :)

wuffymcwuff 2

Thursday 21 June 2012 17:31

What does she want to be when she grows up?

FireFlie07 20

Thursday 21 June 2012 17:32

I would recommend an all girls boarding school

Myo_fml 20

Thursday 21 June 2012 20:21

That won't fix the problem. You don't think she'd play "grown ups" with the girls too?

perdix 29

Thursday 21 June 2012 17:32

What? She's not making them take her to dinner and a movie before the dry-humping and groaning? ****! She should be getting candy and jewelry out of the deal;)