Kids: Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten...

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 329

You deserved it 9 432

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 40 008

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 723

You deserved it 3 605

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 247

By Grant - 11/01/2013 00:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 764

You deserved it 3 111

By Gumfanatic302 - 07/05/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 145

You deserved it 3 190

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 369

You deserved it 71 864

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 509

Teach what you know

By E…… - 24/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 762

By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 124

You deserved it 13 074

By pda - 25/08/2013 02:46 - United States - Short Hills

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 176

You deserved it 4 699

The_Thinker 18

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:09

Does your daughter happen to overhear you and your partner's late night escapades, by any chance?

supbabes 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:11

Well at least her impersonation of "grown-ups" is spot on!

Comments

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 21 June 2012 17:43

You need to have a talk with her to see if she accidentally saw you and your hubby having sex, or God forbid, she is being molested and acting out the behavior.

Dracoboxer357 35

Thursday 21 June 2012 17:53

77- I truly hope she just saw mommy's shenanigans, as the possible alternative is leaving a sick feeling of disgust in the pit of my stomach. :(

kaikai234 4

Thursday 21 June 2012 17:58

My parents had to explain to me that I couldn't kiss my bf in Class 24/7 in kindergarten and I turned out fine (uni graduate and work full time) your kid will be okay op!

twinkiefeets 17

Thursday 21 June 2012 21:08

Ok you should NOT have a bf or be kissing in kindergarten! Unacceptable!

nevershoutkendal_fml 10

Thursday 21 June 2012 22:49

I had a boy I called my boyfriend in pre-school. Yeah, I didn't make out with him or anything. He kissed me on the cheek at pre-school graduation. And he played with me at recess. It's innocent.

mrsstaken 12

Thursday 21 June 2012 18:10

She must get it from her mama?

nichelback3505 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 18:14

Lol i did the same thing when i was young!

lilmslady 11

Thursday 21 June 2012 18:27

Wow I know what she going to be doing when she's older

zach8771 3

Thursday 21 June 2012 18:37

Look out when she's older

lowie89 7

Thursday 21 June 2012 18:38

YDI, why would you expose your 5 year old like that? Whether she learned it from you or the tv you should pay better attention!!! Now she is exposing other kids. Great job! Parent of the year!!

eccentrix 12

Thursday 21 June 2012 19:43

Why are you blaming the girl's mom and not the boys'? How do you know one of them wasn't the one exposing, so to speak?

lowie89 7

Friday 22 June 2012 0:41

Reread it! The OP clearly says that the teacher said HER daughter was getting the boys to play grown ups...so why would it be the boys fault?! And by exposing I meant showing the boys to hump etc.. Not exposing herself.

ArbiterOfFML 24

Thursday 14 March 2019 4:22

Because, the boys could of shown her at an earlier point in time and this time the girl was caught. Unless you were there watching, god forbid if you did, my guess is as good as yours.