Kids: Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten...

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 329

You deserved it 9 432

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 40 008

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 723

You deserved it 3 605

True

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 16:09

Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 044

You deserved it 247

By Grant - 11/01/2013 00:51 - United States

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 764

You deserved it 3 111

By Gumfanatic302 - 07/05/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 145

You deserved it 3 190

By Jess - 30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 369

You deserved it 71 864

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 509

Teach what you know

By E…… - 24/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 762

By Anonymous - 16/01/2014 17:57 - United States - Springfield

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 124

You deserved it 13 074

By pda - 25/08/2013 02:46 - United States - Short Hills

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 176

You deserved it 4 699

The_Thinker 18

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:09

Does your daughter happen to overhear you and your partner's late night escapades, by any chance?

supbabes 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:11

Well at least her impersonation of "grown-ups" is spot on!

Comments

The_Thinker 18

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:18

Google is your friend. But not being an ass and all, it stands for Original Poster - the author of the FML.

UnluckyIrishKid 9

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:19

Original Poster

jessicawuvsya 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:21

Kids copy stuff at a young age I say get a room !!

NIRVANA1990s 1

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:23

don't let her go to college when she is of age :p

GVirdi 11

Thursday 21 June 2012 17:14

Or OP could set better examples and let her go to college to get an education

siberianhamster 17

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:25

Nearly 30 comments on FML and you've never seen the abbreviation OP before?

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:27

I hope you don't yell dirty things when your doing a love session. She might catch on to that as well.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:30

You're*

Myo_fml 20

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:40

You should warn her that that's an excellent way to get cooties. Kids are still scared of cooties, right?

Ninjasaurus18 9

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:45

Idk, the other day I saw a seven year old making out with her boyfriend and then took a picture of them kissing on her iPhone for Facebook.

Myo_fml 20

Thursday 21 June 2012 20:26

Time to find a way to mutate the big then.

Myo_fml 20

Thursday 21 June 2012 22:16

Oops, bug*** Difficult typing on an iPod. Blasted touch screens.

MissAmz 7

Thursday 21 June 2012 16:48

I would be a very concerned parent if my child was displaying adult behavior like that. : /

zandalee 19

Friday 22 June 2012 2:16

Why? It's normal.

doodlecloud 26

Friday 22 June 2012 11:47

Just because it's normal for a child to imitate adults doesn't make it right for her to imitate such things. What if her parents were drug users and she wanted to play 'ciggies and syringes' at school?