Intimacy: Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching...

By Anonymous - 25/10/2010 00:36 - Australia

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 181

You deserved it 6 062

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Same thing different taste

By drastech99 - 23/09/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 747

You deserved it 8 408

By mattttbob - 04/02/2012 10:16 - Australia

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 516

You deserved it 36 025

Pros and cons

By Nope - 10/11/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend only gets horny on her period. Unfortunately, she also gets extremely gassy, so I get to smell her vile farts the entire time. I think this relationship is turning me asexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 154

Glory days

By Anonymous - 03/12/2023 10:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 206

Scary

By Anonymous - 22/08/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 799

You deserved it 31 437

By rawdoglyfe69 - 17/04/2013 06:14 - United States - Helena

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 501

You deserved it 6 078

By HotACE - 22/04/2011 05:08

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 971

You deserved it 22 731

Get on with it!

By QuickieGirl - 16/09/2011 11:28 - United States

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 399

You deserved it 6 128

Turntables

By Bill Mantie - 18/04/2021 02:00

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 147

True love waits

By Acolyte of the Bacon God - 15/02/2013 19:50 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 175

You deserved it 10 419

stook5 0

Monday 25 October 2010 9:08

sounds like you got a situation

omG_G00 0

Monday 25 October 2010 9:08

lmfao, # 1. I refuse to believe you actually wrote that.

Comments

TeenTitan 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 7:58

Hmmm try to make yourself into a guidette?

stonedfishies 10

Sunday 1 July 2012 3:58

Jersey Shore turns her on that much? Geez.

ZeroIce 12

Friday 13 July 2012 5:45

just buy however many seasons are out in stores and play them when needed.

512bigt 10

Tuesday 30 October 2012 21:20

so she has a fetish for stupid people with weird hair?

UniqueAnt21 3

Friday 28 December 2012 1:35

At least she's being honest with you.

BellaFurfaro 12

Monday 21 January 2013 4:42

BellaFurfaro 12

Monday 21 January 2013 4:45

BellaFurfaro 12

Monday 21 January 2013 4:47

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I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 15

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 024

You deserved it 21 116

The Top

Today, I found out that my bathroom electrical outlet has a feature unique from the others, where it turns off on it's own and has to be reset. I found this out after returning an electric toothbrush for a refund, then paying double for another one, thinking the first one's charger didn't work thanks to the outlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 467

Today, I got in trouble with my doctor for eating too soon after surgery. Why was I eating? Because the nurses brought me food, which apparently I should've known not to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 240

Today, I went to my fiancé’s family’s house for dinner. They put pork and/or alcohol in EVERY. SINGLE. DISH. Including putting bacon grease in the desserts. They know I’m Muslim and his mom insisted I was being rude for only drinking water. We ended up leaving with me in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 429

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 373

You deserved it 5 376

Today, I found out why I was always picked up last from school. My parents didn't want the other parents to find out I was their kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 176

Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 481

You deserved it 6 360

Same thing different taste

Pros and cons

Glory days

Scary

Get on with it!

Turntables

True love waits

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