Intimacy: Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching...

By Anonymous - 25/10/2010 00:36 - Australia

Today, I found out my girlfriend only gets aroused after watching Jersey Shore and will only have sex immediately after an episode. I think the worst part is, I'll take what I can get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 181

You deserved it 6 062

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By drastech99 - 23/09/2011 06:22 - United States

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 747

You deserved it 8 408

By mattttbob - 04/02/2012 10:16 - Australia

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 516

You deserved it 36 025

Pros and cons

By Nope - 10/11/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend only gets horny on her period. Unfortunately, she also gets extremely gassy, so I get to smell her vile farts the entire time. I think this relationship is turning me asexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 154

Glory days

By Anonymous - 03/12/2023 10:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend will only have sex when she's on her period, because it's the only time she gets horny. She also gets body acne, bloating, and utterly foul BO and gas. The sex is so unpleasant, I'm starting to wish she just got cranky and emotional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 206

Scary

By Anonymous - 22/08/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 799

You deserved it 31 437

By rawdoglyfe69 - 17/04/2013 06:14 - United States - Helena

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 501

You deserved it 6 078

By HotACE - 22/04/2011 05:08

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 971

You deserved it 22 731

Get on with it!

By QuickieGirl - 16/09/2011 11:28 - United States

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 399

You deserved it 6 128

Turntables

By Bill Mantie - 18/04/2021 02:00

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 147

True love waits

By Acolyte of the Bacon God - 15/02/2013 19:50 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 175

You deserved it 10 419

stook5 0

Monday 25 October 2010 9:08

sounds like you got a situation

omG_G00 0

Monday 25 October 2010 9:08

lmfao, # 1. I refuse to believe you actually wrote that.

Comments

green2go 14

Tuesday 26 October 2010 0:57

DVR as any episodes as u can it will take half the time to watch the show

pecko 1

Tuesday 26 October 2010 2:50

buy the DVD then when your in the mood pop it in push play :D

JPertubal16 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 6:58

jersey shore ohhh yeah!!!!

imright24 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 14:14

You should dump her just for watching that trash. Only serious tools wouldn't change the channel.

Slammedintegra 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 18:59

Ydi for getting yourself into this situation ;)

jewjewbee 6

Tuesday 26 October 2010 21:45

Oh dear God, they have Jersey Shore in Australia?? OP, I'm sorry. I just...I'm so sorry.

THExistentialist 13

Tuesday 13 March 2012 15:26

no wonder everyone thinks Americans are all a bunch of belligerent, sex crazed, shitfaced losers D:

HOTstuff2424 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 7:37

wat is Jersey Shore about?

jodec1995 1

Wednesday 27 October 2010 22:44

haha i feel sorry for you... im not sure if watching Snooki take a punch from a drunk guy at a bar is a major turn on... oh well

honestdude 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:25

who could be turned on by such douchebags?

thejosh213 0

Friday 29 October 2010 21:57

jersey shore - smut tv at its finest

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 30 148

Today, since I needed someone to talk to about it, I told my girlfriend how my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My girlfriend's mother then told me, in graphic detail, how her father's diabetes led to his toes being hacked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 765

You deserved it 731

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 085

You deserved it 536

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 620

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with my attractive and seemingly charming neighbor. Yesterday, his house was raided and he was arrested for running a heroin ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 390

You deserved it 414

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 340

You deserved it 1 050

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 138

Today, I can officially say my parents spend more time with my cheating ex than me. Today is Sunday, and since Monday they have visited her on 4 days, leaving three days for me to see them, but on two of those days I had work, so I have visited my own parents once this week, while they saw her 4 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 146