Intimacy: Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem;...

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 807

You deserved it 4 923

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Same thing different taste

It's not the size that counts

By Leo Scofield - 29/08/2020 02:00

Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 155

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 335

You deserved it 842

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 063

You deserved it 909

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 06:00

Today, I found out my roommate has been using my bed for months because he didn't want his sheets to "smell like gay sex" when his mom washed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 849

You deserved it 330

By Cold feet - 07/04/2019 12:00 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I found out that my roommate was responsible for stealing my socks. When I confronted him about it, he told me that he did it because he likes looking at my bare feet and jerking off into my socks. We’re both guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 601

You deserved it 177

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 817

You deserved it 12 092

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 150

You deserved it 3 375

By Sad_Happy_Gorl - 15/12/2018 23:00 - United States - University Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend has to picture someone else when we have sex. The most recent: my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 441

You deserved it 356

Roommates from hell

By Anonymous - 09/11/2022 04:00

Today, my roommate is super comfortable around me. Comfortable to masturbate while we are in the same room. I asked him to stop, which took some self-control because I wanted to shout at him. He said he needs to do it because of his shin splints. Whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 207

Gagging for it

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 266

Suchagoonnn 4

Thursday 25 April 2013 9:06

Join him

RodzillaX 30

Thursday 25 April 2013 9:06

Now is the time to go ********** in their bed.

Comments

MDNative 6

Saturday 27 April 2013 4:10

well why should he ruin his bed

amifaiyaz 12

Sunday 28 April 2013 5:28

kinky.

toastedjellybowl 7

Sunday 12 May 2013 20:33

Wow. This takes disrespect to a whole new level. LOL!

kokorowe 3

Tuesday 21 May 2013 4:55

Shit on his pillow hell never go in your room again

legendxs 20

Wednesday 22 May 2013 12:42

Do the same to him.

Kyle_Duke 5

Friday 7 June 2013 7:51

Sledge hammer + nuts=sterile which in turn means no more sick ***** rubbing one out in your bed

Aimee1331 9

Monday 23 September 2013 6:18

Eww

MadJessTic 29

Friday 13 March 2015 19:53

So.... That makes it YOUR problem.. No?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 160

You deserved it 1 868

Today, my mom volunteered me to house-sit for one of her friends. This lady has texted me over ten times in less than 24 hours, called me unreasonable for not dropping jury duty to meet with her, and has messaged my mom multiple times to complain about me. My mom already said I would do this for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 163

You deserved it 1 761

The Top

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 2 218

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 3 326

Today, I was at the beach. I'd recently decided to try the "life hack" where you empty out a bottle of lotion and hide small valuables in it, to avoid them being stolen. I'd put the bottle in my bag. Instead of stealing stuff from inside it, though, someone just stole the whole bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 531

You deserved it 10 629

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 877

You deserved it 3 753

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 869

You deserved it 154

Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 352

You deserved it 3 372