age isn't just a number. it's the mindset that is involved. a 16 year olds mind is very different than a 22 year olds mind. this can develop into shaping, and grooming (abuse) teenagers are naive and vulnerable while 22 year olds aren't (as much as the teenager) it is dangerous and gross.

Uh. No. That means you're probably very immature if you can relate with a CHILD enough to consider them a serious partner. I feel bad for him because he's stuck with an adult with the mindset of a teen. Leave him alone and let him grow and find someone your own age. Just because it's "legal" where you are doesn't make it right and if that's your only justification for being with a child then you know you're wrong. Age is not a number it's a mindset and experience level. I'm 23 and someone who hasn't even been in the real world yet has nothing to offer me romantically.

exactly! it's gross and definitely toxic

Well, to be fair to 17, there are significant cultural differences worldwide and throughout history when it comes to when someone is considered an "adult." Maybe 16 year olds are considered more mature in Germany? I mean, if you think about it, are they really that different than 18 year olds? But even so, you both are correct that a 16 year old is more likely to be manipulated and abused by an older partner, regardless of cultural attitudes. All young people are more likely to be manipulated and abused by romantic partners.

I'm German, and I'm 22 as well. If any of my friends got involved with a 16-year-old I'd ask them what the everliving **** they were doing. Pretty sure it's not cultural here either, though it is technically legal.

Depending on life situation and education, I can absolutely see how a 22year old and a 16year old can have a similar level of maturity. For example, if the 16year old does manual labor like being a mechanic they might work 40+ hour weeks and earn enough to rent their own appartement, etc and is rather independent. A 22year old can still go to school/college, live at home and work a 10 hour job or not at all, have the mother cook and clean for them. In that situation the younger person would make up for the years with life experience and they could be closer mentally than the age gap would suggest.

it honestly doesnt change the mind/experience aspect. sure a teenager could hold way more responsibilities than an adult but the teenager is still naive and vulnerable. That's why it's called shaping and grooming. The adult grooms and shapes the teenager into who they want them to be not who they themselves want to be. There will always be shaping and grooming in relationships like that and it is gross and toxic. There is literally no way to avoid it.

53. That excuse doesn't fly. I can even speak from experience. I was a very mature teen and had lots of adult life experiences. I even dated a 26 year old at 17 years old. Fortunately I was able to see that even with my high maturity level it was roxic as he was still immature and (unintentionally) abusive due to our age and experience differences. I outgrew him as a teen should. I ended the relationship after 2 years (one year living together). Looking back from age 23 I am disgusted by him for pursuing a relationship with a child. In normal circumstances (like not extreme war torn or third world uneducated starving countries) twenty somethings should not be on a teenagers level regardless of maturity level or life experiences of the teen. They simply do not have the emotional maturity or the mental level of an adult. To suggest otherwise is backwards.

17 not to attack you but seriously leave him and work on yourself. Why are you at the same level as a child? Why does a child with no experience in life appeal to you? If you like to "wear the pants" there are adults who are interested in a relationship like that. A lot of times when a woman goes for a young guy especially in a situation like this it's because the woman was either abused (sexual or mental) and fears men. I noticed you deleted your picture which I assume is because you want some anonymity after this post which to me shows as guilt or knowledge that you said something not acceptable. I'm not saying you're a bad person or abusive to him but this type of relationship hurts both parties and doesn't allow forward movement. Also the guy may have his own issues (and even past abuse) that he may be reenacting which is why he's attracted to "older women" Unhealthy sexual relationships have been linked to abuse of some sort or something in your and his mindsets that maybe was missing in your lives. At 22 and 16 you're at different mental stages and have different short term goals even if your personalities and long term goals are the same. You're hindering each other from those goals because neither can properly support the other. Anyway... good luck

Sorry for the novels but to add one more thing check out comment 45 under comment 7. That's and healthy age gap story. If it's meant to be it can but not as the current teen/adult relationship

I have to agree with you, #17. People can become fully mature at any age, especially when they have faced certain experiences. I personally have noticed that me and a close friend of mine have been intellectually and (dare I say) emotionally mature long before we physically did. Age could be easily defined as simply a measure of one's life experience. To the people that oppose this belief, what is the difference between a 16 year old and an 18 year old if both have had the same experiences in their lives? I disbelieve there is one other than their physical appearance, which may not even be the case.

Well, 46, you negated my one saving grace for 17. Now I got nothin'.