Health: Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband...

By zombieguyswife - 28/06/2012 23:44 - United States - Branson

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 084

You deserved it 3 982

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 7 816

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 2 628

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 015

You deserved it 3 567

By fat - 07/01/2014 12:41 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 224

You deserved it 4 995

Cocobananas

By why... - 05/06/2012 17:21 - United States - East Orange

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 039

You deserved it 3 541

Compromises

By DepressionBetty - 11/10/2021 08:00

Today, I realized I agreed to go to the gym with my fiancé after being on my feet at work all day because he wants to get fit, but he will not help me remodel the house I’m working on so we can have a bigger place to live, because he doesn’t feel like it. I don’t want or need to go to the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 337

By fatty - 23/09/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 405

You deserved it 15 697

By drake86 - 09/01/2013 16:42 - United Kingdom - Helensburgh

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 929

You deserved it 33 065

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 09:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 430

You deserved it 4 654

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 625

You deserved it 33 113

eddeeezzyy 19

Friday 29 June 2012 9:05

Well, if it does happen...contact me! I have loads of Ak-47s! Best damn assault rifle out there! :D

MagicGiraffe 12

Friday 29 June 2012 9:37

Let's all act like we know something about guns because we play COD!

Comments

fordman22 0

Friday 29 June 2012 14:28

Tell him you have a new workout outfit ;)

izzy7 11

Friday 29 June 2012 14:30

Whatever works! ;-)

OddFutureLove42 5

Friday 29 June 2012 14:34

I believe the correct term is " Zombie Apocalypse " .

richieflow 3

Friday 29 June 2012 15:28

That's awesome

dieselguy82 0

Friday 29 June 2012 15:47

Sweetheart if the puss isnt making him jump at your feet time to spice it up a little

little_one 20

Friday 29 June 2012 16:55

I'd work out too if there was a chance of a zombie apocolypse that ***** scary as **** and the slow person always dies

jayhawkchik 4

Friday 29 June 2012 18:28

Rule # 1) Cardio Rule # 2) double tap

wironandine 8

Friday 29 June 2012 19:04

Zombie stuff sure is getting old

kykupkake21 3

Friday 29 June 2012 19:10

I believe the correct term is zombie apocalypse. :)

eccentrix 12

Friday 29 June 2012 20:38

Not if we're all as prepared as this guy.

SimplyEerb 3

Friday 29 June 2012 19:17

It's scary how prepared our generation is for a zombie apocalypse. Ahah.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

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USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 264

You deserved it 809

Today, a few days after I let my boyfriend introduce food into our sex life and we used melted chocolate, I've now got a UTI. I’ve never had a UTI before in my life, so I’m blaming him for the fact it feels like I’m peeing needles dipped in acid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 2 450

Today, it's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep because of my blocked left nostril. It's been a month now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 128

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 461

You deserved it 3 697

Today, I was babysitting. Being kind, I went to grab their mail, while their 4 year old ate lunch. He locked me out, wrecked the house, and let me in right when he saw their car two hours later. I didn't get paid. I paid them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 989

You deserved it 9 594

Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 754

You deserved it 2 001

Same thing different taste

Good to know

Cocobananas

Compromises

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