Intimacy: Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she...

By fmlskank93 - 01/09/2010 11:10 - Australia

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 782

You deserved it 4 626

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:14 - United States - Athens

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 097

You deserved it 3 676

Whoops

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom - Dewsbury

Today, I was asking my best friend to tell me all the boys she’d had sex with, because I thought she had slept with my boyfriend. She accidentally said my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 580

Reasonable

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 01:21 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 149

You deserved it 4 401

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 722

You deserved it 2 532

The Wire

By whorica139 - 02/09/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 689

You deserved it 30 696

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

Back to reality

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 970

You deserved it 28 295

By topfisherman - 05/02/2010 20:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 42 246

She's got it going on!

By Heartbroken - 08/08/2018 07:00 - United States

Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 453

You deserved it 237

By Nobody - 17/10/2010 17:17 - United States

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 180

You deserved it 58 529

PolishHammer 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 16:03

Wow umm I'd kill her

ImaCanuck 0

Wednesday 1 September 2010 16:05

Ew.... how old is your dad and friend? sounds kind of pedo.

Comments

aee747 6

Saturday 4 September 2010 2:30

hahaha that's so gross

kariabernathy 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 4:33

eh. shit happens. I know many hot older men, maybe he had a child at a young age. **** your life for choosing a **** as a friend!

spamf 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 4:39

I did that once it was awesome

Sleya 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 5:15

305- I have to ask. Are your boobs real or fake? can't get offended you have them out there for the question to be asked.

schoolsuck 8

Saturday 4 September 2010 7:03

wow that's creepy I'd kick her but

Independantlove 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 8:02

uhm...... *awkward turtle..... swims away*

Dirsh 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 9:27

That hella nasty. I hope you not her friend abymore.

Dirsh 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 9:33

that b was suppose to be an n. :)

BabyyBecca 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 16:37

this is sooo very wrong I would be mad at both!

xtrawesome 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 9:39

damn......

Allaineyyy 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 19:55

That's disturbing ._. I would throw away your bed if i were you. Oh, and your dad's sick for having sex with your "best friend" and vice versa.

Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable Work You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 075

You deserved it 6 726

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 80

The Top

Today, my husband's latest attempt to torture me was to point out that in every animated kids film like Encanto, Moana, and so on, that somewhere behind Disney's walls is an animator who has to animate the characters boobs and how they bounce when the characters walk. I can’t unsee it; so many films. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 205

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 254

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 613

Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 434

You deserved it 4 070

Today, I was told that I don't meet the minimum requirements for a job I applied for. I currently hold the same job, at the same facility, but just wanted a day shift. Apparently I'm not qualified for the job I've had for 2 and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 366

You deserved it 3 673

Today, I got pulled off a hugely important project, all because I accidentally spelled "country" as "cuntry" in an email to our client. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 743

You deserved it 16 275