Fred is dead......or at least he was near death in a hospice according to an article I read about him a few days ago.

I was the "leftover" child in my family as well. Except my dad played favorites with my brother because he was a boy and can (in my dad's words why he favored him) "pass on his family name, and I can't." I am talking taking my brother out to baseball games, camping, all kinds of outings...while leaving me at home. Buying him anything he wanted, but for me its "I am being selfish and dont need it." I have one child (girl) and if I had another kid, I would never play favorites cause I still remember how shitty that felt.

I feel ya, man. My father left my mother for his mistress when I was less than a year old. My older sister, who was about 6 at the time, still kept her relationship with our dad, but because I was too young to really establish any connection with him, he always treated me like I was a nuisance when my sister and I would visit him on a few weekends out of the year. He never spent much time with me, and when he did, he was either punishing me for something I touched in his house or getting annoyed when I asked him innocent questions (which is something most 4-year-old children do, anyway). Once my half-sister came along, though, she was the only one I spent time with when we visited; I'd end up babysitting my half-sister at his house while my older sister went with Dad to the park or out to a movie. What hurt most of all (and what I remember most vividly) was, when we'd talk on the phone about visiting, I'd end our conversations with, "I love you, Daddy," and the most he could usually muster was, "Uh-huh, okay." Once I started college, he decided he wanted me around - out of the blue - and only when he happened to see me working at my part-time job (he had stopped calling me and letting me visit when I turned 13 or so, so I hadn't heard from him for quite a while). He suddenly started telling me that he needed me around to help guide my half-sister through high school and impending college. He didn't ask how I was, when I was planning to graduate, how college life was, if I was dating anyone, how the family was, or what I'd been doing for the past, I don't know, five years. The conversation always came back to his crippling medical conditions, my step-mother's family, my half-sister, her grades, and her high school swimming championships. I found myself asking, "Who are you?" and never spoke with or acknowledged him again. I eventually shut him out, since he only wanted me around when it was convenient or when it favored his agenda. Honestly, some parents never learn. They'll never change their feelings about you, especially if you were born or conceived during a significant time in their lives (particularly, when my dad started cheating on my mom). It comes down to accepting that they don't want your unconditional love, that they'll never reciprocate that love, and that it's best to move on with your life, grateful for the family that sees you as something other than just a tragic event.

I have a friend who has an experience with a pos dad. His dad left his mom for a younger woman, married her and had 4 daughters. During the time he was growing up, his dad had nothing to do with him. Years later, his dad's 4 daughters grew up had kids (all girls) and my friend has a son of his own now. This "dad" suddenly wanted to be in his son's life because (my friend and and I both came this conclusion) his dad wanted a son. He had 4 girls, and now granddaughters...etc and realized "Hey, wait, I do have a son lemme just walt into his life and pretend everything is ok" So after my friends mom did all the hard work of raising him alone, this dad wanted to just creep into his son's life. Dad never apologized, said "that is just life." And We both think had this dirtbag had a son with his new younger wife, he would have never bother to try and reconnect. Funny thing was this dad demanded he had a "right" to visit his new grandson.