Miscellaneous: Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor, even... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 02:35 - United States - Mascotte

Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor, even if you have a C-section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 622

You deserved it 1 802

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By novaguy - 24/02/2015 16:15 - United States

Today, I learned that, when choking on a piece of food, you can cough hard enough to partially prolapse a hemorrhoid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 772

You deserved it 2 548

By Terri-Lynn - 30/05/2012 20:25 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 776

You deserved it 4 421

Dumping

By Baby Momma - 20/01/2022 22:00 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I found out that my breathing exercises I learned during pregnancy will not be for nothing after ending up having a C-section, because I'll apparently need them every time I relieve myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 08/11/2017 13:00 - United States

Today, during the birth of my first child, my epidural didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 173

You deserved it 477

Bunged up

By P DarklyKira - 18/05/2020 23:00

Today, after weeks of quarantine, I can finally go to the hospital to get my haemorrhoid surgery, which was confirmed. I have a big internal one. I didn't not consult with the same doctor as before, but he didn't even do a check up inside and told me, "You have nothing, go home." I can't shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 185

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 192

Double standards

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 142

Looking forward to it

By OkieThePokie - 07/08/2017 13:00

Today, I found out that my unborn son has an abnormally large head. I have an abnormally small and narrow pelvis, and I'm allergic to local anesthetic, so no epidural or spinal for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 178

You deserved it 457

By toelie - 03/03/2018 19:00

Today, at 6 weeks pregnant, I went to the ER in the middle of the night for severe abdominal pain, fearing an ectopic pregnancy. Turns out it was just a wayward turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 886

You deserved it 485

By John - 24/06/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 125

You deserved it 3 430

Next

Top comments

hopsinlove17 26

Saturday 26 December 2015 19:40

You just knew your baby was gonna be a pain in the ass(; all jokes aside, congrats op! Hope you get well soon.

hey_its_me_ 20

Saturday 26 December 2015 19:39

Aw. Hang in there OP. Congrats on the new baby though! Feel better!

Comments

TAntobella 14

Saturday 26 December 2015 19:59

Good to know, that's yet another reason for adopting instead of giving birth! Pheeeew!

SPN_lover666 27

Saturday 26 December 2015 20:28

It also happened to my friend. I hope you feel better, and congrats on the baby

AshBash2211 14

Saturday 26 December 2015 20:45

Giving birth isn't the only way to get hemmeroids.. So this is not surprising at all. The amount that women tense their body during labour can cause hemmeroids. Not to mention you can get them without having a baby.. My grandpa had multiple surgeries to remove his

savagetitan 13

Saturday 26 December 2015 21:06

Kids are full of surprises.

Mightytall 35

Saturday 26 December 2015 21:09

My wife had it too. The midwife said the pregnancy related ones go away usually. Enjoy your little one!

ToastyTheBeast 4

Saturday 26 December 2015 21:11

Stool softeners. Hospital should give you some!

everythingelena 28

Saturday 26 December 2015 21:36

you can get through this OP! congrats on your baby :)

captainsmegma 12

Saturday 26 December 2015 21:50

Congrats on the new baby and the roids.

merryhappy1887 20

Saturday 26 December 2015 21:52

I've had them through both of my pregnancies usually they go away get preparation h lol sometimes they have to give you suppositories to.

Justagirl97 9

Saturday 26 December 2015 22:30

This worries me ?

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Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 692

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, due to a health insurance mix up, my schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convinced I can read her mind, and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit my throat in my sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 385

You deserved it 2 729

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 620

You deserved it 38 368

Today, police questioned me on behalf of my doctor, who couldn’t believe one person could use so much insulin, so he thinks I’m selling it to bodybuilders. I really do use it all myself, I use about 6 times as much as my sister who is also diabetic, and my diet is normal. I only weigh 10.5 stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 117

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 325

You deserved it 5 767

Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 943

You deserved it 3 366

Today, after working on my novel for two years, I found out that another book has recently been published with an almost identical plot. I was going to submit it to a publisher in two days. FML

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You deserved it 418