Intimacy: Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully...

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By Artic - 12/04/2011 04:00 - United States

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 822

You deserved it 16 157

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Same thing different taste

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 886

You deserved it 6 020

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 099

You deserved it 4 515

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 07:59

Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 1 531

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 835

You deserved it 10 203

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 02:00

Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 148

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 1 261

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 766

You deserved it 8 014

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 810

You deserved it 19 264

Let down

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 495

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 996

You deserved it 2 967

Alliria 3

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:57

Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?

bgo7 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:48

if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha

Comments

omarecer 3

Tuesday 12 April 2011 19:12

well they say love conquers all including small things

chantellakemi 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 19:12

if you do it doggy style with your back slightly arched then it will feel bigger . i read it in cosmo! lol . but seriously , FYL .

spankymrd 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 19:13

the love of your life? I take it that he is a good dude but go find you a loser with a foot long and let him pound you in the forehead with it

itsallsohilariou_fml 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 19:14

make a mountain out of a molehill and try ANAL

darkerdays 5

Tuesday 12 April 2011 19:15

Ouch.

TobyFunke 3

Tuesday 12 April 2011 19:15

I'm guessing she was attracted to his bright red sports car, but didn't think about why he bought a car like that... until now that is

loveless3692 2

Tuesday 12 April 2011 19:17

well your a bitch and u clearly don't love him if the size is all you care about.

simply_improper 1

Tuesday 12 April 2011 19:19

ydi, you should always boink a few times before considering them the love of your life.

BlueMadness 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 19:22

oh goodness, you'll have to deal with it.(:

art350 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 19:22

it's not the size that matters it's how you deal with it

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