Intimacy: Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver...

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 792

You deserved it 19 256

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By hornyloser770 - 01/03/2010 02:15 - France

Today, I had just finished riding my bike when I ran into the girl I am secretly in love with. While I walked over to her I got an erection through my spandex biking shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 368

You deserved it 11 015

Entrapment

By Anonymous - 04/11/2017 05:00

Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 920

You deserved it 2 790

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 038

You deserved it 5 426

We're the main characters

By GymHunky - 03/11/2021 11:00

Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 152

By Joel_28 - 01/03/2010 00:33 - Canada

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 504

You deserved it 20 697

By anonymous - 06/03/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 672

You deserved it 32 274

By fatguyinalittlecoat - 08/12/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 918

You deserved it 5 278

By Anonymous - 25/07/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 567

You deserved it 5 777

By gtfb1993 - 02/12/2011 22:21 - Canada

Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 688

You deserved it 42 486

By Peter80 - 03/03/2009 14:55 - Netherlands

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 222

You deserved it 73 629

Harry_Poochi 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:11

You should have shown her your package.

pinky0090 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:07

Should have asked for her number

Comments

pinky0090 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:07

Should have asked for her number

B4SK3TB4IL 0

Monday 6 September 2010 5:02

who answers the door with their wang stickin out

22cute 17

Friday 18 May 2012 12:26

I think you should count yourself lucky that the woman has a sense of humor. She could have been offended and slapped you or something.

City_at_war 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:10

Hey! I know her.

JazzHandsFML 28

Monday 2 March 2015 4:48

how can you know her based on the adjective "attractive" and that she works at Fed ex?

jcscool 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:11

wow lol

JazzHandsFML 28

Monday 2 March 2015 4:52

such a detailed and descriptive comment about the fml!

Tenor_Sax_Man 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:11

That's why you fix yourself before you answer the door.

spoo 24

Friday 21 August 2009 19:00

He did IMO.. OP - Attempt Witt... perfect opportunity

Harry_Poochi 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:11

You should have shown her your package.

Zombierella 2

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:13

null_fml 11

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:27

Good point. I agree completely.

GreatAwakening 0

Friday 21 August 2009 4:25

Hah.

F00tball_Playa 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:13

Ur erection was too small?

dramakat11 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:14

I don't think that's really an FML. Who cares? Most people would laugh just because it's unexpected and awkward, that doesn't mean it's small or anything...

mynameisnotjudie 0

Friday 21 August 2009 0:33

exactly. Who's to say it was because of the size? Most women have the decency not to laugh at a stranger for his "size." Maybe they'd giggle when they get back in the car, but.... who cares? Anyway, I'm almost 100% positive that she laughed because it was an awkward/unexpected situation. Who knows - maybe she has the same thought pattern as #20 and saw the irony of the situation. xD Either way, I'm honestly getting sick of the "I assume she meant that my penis is small, woe-as-me" comments from the guys, and the "My boyfriend must have been serious about that comment and he thinks I'm fat and ugly, boo hoo" comments from the girls. Let us all get over ourselves, k?