Health: Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother...

By crazyk2468 - 26/04/2012 17:29 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 740

You deserved it 2 579

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Same thing different taste

You're barred

By sarahhbear - 17/11/2012 06:42 - United States - Bryan

Today, my older brother thought it would be hilarious to sneak up and scare me in the grocery aisle at the store. I screamed and jumped, knocking half the shelf's contents all over the floor. We're now banned from the only grocery store in town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 129

You deserved it 3 199

Jeremy?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 22:00

Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 266

By Sostupid - 24/01/2011 03:41 - Canada

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 503

You deserved it 8 800

By firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 916

You deserved it 373

By wantontsu - 11/09/2010 18:59

Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 714

You deserved it 3 635

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 110

By aswamk - 19/12/2015 05:01 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 991

You deserved it 1 713

Stuck

By Anonymous - 09/08/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, I had to take a laxative for the first time. Instead of working gently overnight like it promised, I woke up at 3 a.m. to an unrelenting river of shit that made my legs numb on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:56 - United States - Hermiston

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 435

You deserved it 3 269

Volcanic

By poopshooter101 - 30/06/2009 11:53 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong, she said that I'd "killed her nose." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 767

You deserved it 9 343

Jf770 10

Thursday 26 April 2012 22:43

Have fun with that.

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Thursday 26 April 2012 22:44

That must of hurt. I'm guessing it would be like a boulder going through a straw.

Comments

Heinousness 0

Friday 27 April 2012 22:20

53 is right. Noor, don't be sad, we all do it. OP, thanks for the interesting mental picture. You're welcome :P

lowie89 7

Saturday 28 April 2012 9:41

Only at Walmart! Wonder if anyone caught a picture of you ******** yourself for that people of Walmart website

bkm804 0

Sunday 29 April 2012 14:25

At lest its was just Walmart where people do some crazy shit!

emlennon 0

Saturday 18 August 2012 7:40

Oh those Walmart shenanigans.........

ajaj26 12

Monday 1 July 2013 8:26

Good thing that you were close to a toilet, clean clothes, laxatives & adult diapers.

MoroseMoose 47

Thursday 6 October 2016 0:37

I'm curious how he managed to scare you that badly.

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The Top

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You deserved it 8 079

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I agree, your life sucks 14 797

You deserved it 982

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I agree, your life sucks 1 815

You deserved it 228