Intimacy: Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a...

By happybirthday - 12/08/2012 05:49 - United States - Wrentham

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 557

You deserved it 3 473

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Screwed - 07/08/2009 23:35 - Canada

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 209

You deserved it 4 345

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 04:17

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 620

You deserved it 18 378

We need to talk

By Anonymous - 30/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Foam Lake

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 641

You deserved it 2 982

Addicted

By Anonymous - 07/05/2013 03:27 - United States - Utica

Today, after spending a week defending my marriage to everyone, I found out my husband has an addiction I never knew about. Hookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 111

You deserved it 7 157

By dwood08 - 07/11/2014 01:55 - United States - New York

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 025

You deserved it 15 923

Happy?

By SURPRISE - 10/06/2009 00:13 - Canada

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 694

You deserved it 6 830

There's no such thing as a coincidence

By Anonymous - 15/10/2022 18:00

Today, I ran into my husband and his mistress. He was picking her up at the airport. I was catching a flight to a conference with my boss. He had flowers for her, and his arm around her. My boss knows my husband as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 119

By meowymomma - 25/06/2016 19:21 - United States

Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 694

You deserved it 1 467

Work name

By Van - 09/11/2019 05:00

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 924

You deserved it 470

By Soontobeex - 15/09/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I decided to go through my husband's phone to make sure I invited everyone to the surprise party I was planning for him. There were a few I had missed so I called to let them know about it. The last number I called was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 589

You deserved it 4 678

MCRaddict15 15

Sunday 12 August 2012 12:26

What a douche. He was more than lucky to have someone as compassionate as you. Oh well, his loss.

dude1122332 9

Sunday 12 August 2012 12:26

I think you have another surprise for him right? Like some papers..

Comments

lexiieeex3 32

Tuesday 14 August 2012 7:23

What an asshole!!!

sammichbunny 3

Tuesday 14 August 2012 21:12

Surprise him by becoming a lesbian like me?

Lilbrenna6 0

Friday 17 August 2012 8:08

douchebag!

saderboi41 10

Friday 17 August 2012 18:56

Divorce?

Just_Me_88 8

Sunday 19 August 2012 4:35

Wow, I am sorry, OP.

fj19 9

Sunday 19 August 2012 15:50

Must have really sucked for him to be in that situation.

rainbowteehee 6

Saturday 25 August 2012 3:38

Aha what a freskin **** he is! He has another surprise in store *cough *cough divorce papers

skinflint 6

Monday 27 August 2012 23:14

he brought a hooked to his house? what a moron!

KitKat_LOL 6

Wednesday 12 September 2012 2:53

break that shit off

yenidewi 11

Friday 2 November 2012 0:34

troll ... !!!

Keywords

Health Relatable Animals Cold weather Cats Miscellaneous Haircut Embarrassing Work Music Cars Transportation Love Sex Intimacy Awkward Parents Cute Kids Hair Healthy Lifestyle Money Scams Annoying Skincare Insects Neighbours Dating First Dates Alcohol

The Top

Today, my boyfriend has spent weeks trying to get me to cancel my breast reduction surgery, for selfish reasons obviously, even though he knows how bad my spinal problems are getting. I don’t want a hunched back in my 30’s, but all he cares about is his sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 020

You deserved it 304

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 165

The Top

Today, for the Superbowl halftime show, my mom was blasting the TV, dancing, and singing along to Bruce Springsteen in front of me and my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 062

You deserved it 6 984

Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 281

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no liquids rule. They took out a bottle of massage oil, lube, Vagisil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 860

You deserved it 70 572

Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 087

You deserved it 7 120

Today, my daughter told me she “doesn’t ever see herself getting in a relationship” and “dating just isn’t for her.” She’s 30 and has never been with anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 937

Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 142