By dwood08 - 07/11/2014 01:55 - United States - New York

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 023
You deserved it 15 920
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Top comments

am_bugg 20

Hmmm sex or a new puppy is equally as satisfying in my opinion.

443 10

Comments

am_bugg 20

Hmmm sex or a new puppy is equally as satisfying in my opinion.

443 10
tygerarmy 35

Say "Thanks for the puppy, let's celebrate by doing it doggie style!"

131 6
drayloon 50

But hey, it was actually a surprise, wasn't it?

53 3
Soviet_American 29

@12, they will probably be up all night to 'Bark at The Moon' (Ozzy Osborne)

13 6
chlorinegreen 27

I don't know. I just got a puppy in the last year and if I came home to a puppy I would be kind like... What the hell did you just do?? Lol I don't think I could do the puppy thing so soon. Though I love my Oakley! Let's just do it instead of get a puppy.

5 29
wanted_2_want 40

"Happy wife, happy life"! Maybe she's willing to put up more often from now on?

9 15
Horsempeg 25

I would rather find the puppy, it makes you happy everyday amd not just happy for a couple hours :)

14 2
tygerarmy 35

@92, since both sex with someone you are married too, and getting a puppy are free* I'd rather surprise sex. If I got a puppy, I want some say into picking it. *Some terms and conditions apply. Consent should be used for both. Pets should be acquired at local shelter.

10 2
Just_A_Tree 20

I would love it if I had a say in the type of dog, and where it came from. Little ankle biting yip dogs are irritating, I like bigger dogs and medium ones are okay too. And I'd like it to come from the shelter, and be a mix breed. Pure breed often times have health issues. And, I'd like it to be older, or get two dogs (one puppy and one older). Older dogs are often times less desirable by families. I'd want to give that dog affection and a permanent home that it should have. Those are my lenient personal preferences.

7 2
fxxth 16

Look on the bright side, puppies are adorable! Maybe you could "thank" her by giving her something too. A dinner date to set the mood?

162 8
botanistjessica 24

Honestly this guy has a twisted outlook on life if he thinks sex is better than puppies.

51 12
drmisin 5

what? sex is definitely better. Puppies you have to feed, take out, and spend lots of money on......wait....damn.

50 22
sweetbliss3 37

I'd rather get the sex than a puppy, just my opinion.

15 13
schwaka 17

Puppies ftw! How can someone be disappointed by a puppy?

4 2
sweetlysarcastic 3

But it's a new puppy! Who doesn't love a puppy????

201 6
MrConcise 34

Some people just like pussy more. We can't all be dog people.

47 15
Meowdisen 15

I know right?! I'd be ******* stoked if I came home to a puppy.

41 2
MrConcise 34

@17 - Maybe try commenting with some substance before you critique; go ahead, I'll wait for your amazing word play to floor me.

10 14
chlorinegreen 27

Hey I thought it was good. I giggled a little...

14 3
littlekellilee 45

I'm scared of dogs, so I wouldn't be happy getting a new puppy. Maybe a kitten, but getting a pet is still a big decision and requires discussion.

7 2
epilepticloh 20

People allergic to puppies...

10 13
thesmeagol 22

Depends on the puppy. I would hate coming home to a little ankle biter who doesn't get bigger then a cat. But that's just personal preference.

10 9
Demon_of_Light 27

@4: Agreed. I would normally say OP deserves it for not appreciating his wife's thoughtfulness, but with that attitude he doesn't deserve the small fluffy ball of unconditional love that is a puppy.

0 1
Psycho_Babydoll 26

Learn to associate 'surprise' with something other than sex, I would be thrilled if I was surprised with a puppy.

192 8
schwaka 17

Ikr? Surprise just means something you don't expect.

8 1
thisguy22 33

@106 Paints a pretty miserable picture for future marriage prospects doesn't it?

4 2
dwood08 10

I wasn't expecting it hence why I hoped it was sex.

4 2
sayyestothedress 24

#129 yeah we understand but just because a woman says there's a surprise waiting for you, doesn't mean it's automatically sex!

5 1
hannah_cheers 30

At least you got a puppy. I wish I could come home and be surprised with a new puppy.

80 1
rabidpeach 5

cuz 2 dogs is never enough?

4 4
sayyestothedress 24

I've always wanted a dog, but my sister is scared so we are not allowed! I wish that I could've surprised like that! Why the **** is this even and FML? It should an LML (love my life)

1 1
kenjenkei 32

A new puppy is almost exactly as fantastic as sex, although hopefully not for the same reasons.

74 4
Sansa_fml 38

You're a cat person? Puppy's are really cute but it is something you should discuss before getting one.

23 5
lammm_fml 18

Dude puppies are adorable take it and be happy.. You can have sex any time later your wife isn't going anywhere

55 3
notgointoeurope 11

I'd be so excited for a new puppy! Mans best friend

13 4