Intimacy: Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my... - FML

By lalararara - 04/03/2010 15:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 001

You deserved it 6 784

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By acincollege - 21/02/2009 05:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 491

You deserved it 53 039

By erpuchi - 01/12/2010 01:52 - Dominican Republic

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 525

You deserved it 7 036

Anticlimactic

By Ray - 31/12/2020 16:58

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 342

By peteto818 - 18/12/2014 17:59 - Bulgaria - Pernik

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 5 404

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 22:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 149

You deserved it 26 257

Keep it down!

By LonelyStudent - 02/09/2019 19:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 15:09 - United States - Beacon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 053

You deserved it 7 039

By helpme - 25/09/2015 13:46 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 358

You deserved it 7 777

By JG - 10/05/2012 11:48 - United States - Melbourne

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 411

You deserved it 4 208

By BluBaller - 06/04/2010 07:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 720

You deserved it 5 903

Next

Top comments

candy1 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:03

hahaha your boyfriend is awesome

Cokencsi 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:04

I would get straight a's if that was my reward.

Comments

higgy6969 7

Friday 5 March 2010 23:23

do you get it in the ass for a "d"?

anyapersad 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 0:12

ur boyfriend is badass dude lol

johndoe20 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 1:57

your bf is admirable. lucky you have somebody that'll be a positive influence on you for school

felicia13 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 17:24

i got a ten inch **** ladies. text me for some fun. 219-916-0526

Bsane 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 3:15

he must be your professor ;)

zax_fml 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 3:19

ugh what is wrong with you female op's on here. don't you know the WOMAN should always be in control. sheesh!

silentmusic 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 6:12

hahaha you now have an incentive program: be happy!

Tekno4Lyfe 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 15:11

lol it is gewd motivation

brunnette_babe 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 16:43

i like his thinking

terriibabiiix23 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 22:10

hunny, why is this an FML?! well, it isn't! that's a great way to get motivated for schoool, i hope that encourages you to get even more goood gradess. you truly, have an awesome boyfriend :) aand i hope that sex was great since, you got a great grade on your project. . .

8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16

Keywords

Party Awkward Lonely Love Transportation Cars ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Grandparents Accident Miscellaneous Kids Annoying Covid Health Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Sex Intimacy Exhausted My ex

The Top

Today, my Thanksgiving sucks, pretty much bummed because someone dognapped my Shiba Inu as I went inside a store. I'm trying not to stress, even though all I can think of is, "Is he OK? Has he eaten?" Fuck, I miss my darn dog. The audacity of this person. Literally disheartening. Hopefully he returns to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 128

Today, I met one of my favorite webcomic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth, he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 498

You deserved it 7 808

The Top

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 567

You deserved it 9 464

Today, I told my mom she made me feel unloved my whole life. She called my sister and apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 81

Today, my son got fired from work. He took it upon himself to openly insult his boss, and make racial derogatory jokes against a Hispanic coworker of his. He labeled it “freedom of speech” and is gonna “sue for wrongful termination” for “attempt to censor him for having a different opinion.” He’s 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 290

Today, as I experienced another bout of existential dread while trying to sleep, I declared that it would be the day I opened up to my family about the full extent of my mental health struggles. Also today, I didn't do it. Again. Because I'm anxious it may inconvenience them to worry about me too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 144

Today, I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wanted to look nice at school for a change. After coming downstairs my mom yells at me and says, "See, when you don't wake up on time your hair looks like that. You could have at least combed it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 905

You deserved it 5 999

Today, my sister stole my credit card, used it to rack up a small debt, then told my mom she will pay me back in the future one day, “happily”. But not right now because she has better things to spend her money on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 92