Intimacy: Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my... - FML

By lalararara - 04/03/2010 15:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 001

You deserved it 6 784

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Same thing different taste

By acincollege - 21/02/2009 05:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 491

You deserved it 53 039

By erpuchi - 01/12/2010 01:52 - Dominican Republic

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 525

You deserved it 7 036

Anticlimactic

By Ray - 31/12/2020 16:58

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 342

By peteto818 - 18/12/2014 17:59 - Bulgaria - Pernik

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 970

You deserved it 5 404

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 22:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 149

You deserved it 26 257

Keep it down!

By LonelyStudent - 02/09/2019 19:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 15:09 - United States - Beacon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 053

You deserved it 7 039

By helpme - 25/09/2015 13:46 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 358

You deserved it 7 777

By JG - 10/05/2012 11:48 - United States - Melbourne

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 411

You deserved it 4 208

By BluBaller - 06/04/2010 07:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 720

You deserved it 5 903

Next

Top comments

candy1 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:03

hahaha your boyfriend is awesome

Cokencsi 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 20:04

I would get straight a's if that was my reward.

Comments

iltby 3

Monday 19 April 2010 20:28

Seriously, why do people stay with assholes like this?

narnia14_fml 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 3:55

haha better keep your grades up =]

awwwiciah 7

Friday 30 April 2010 4:32

haha i wish my boyfriend did that.. i'd keep my grades up!

dirtyrussian97 0

Friday 25 June 2010 4:10

that's how it's gotta be

blueheron93 0

Monday 19 July 2010 7:33

Sounds like it's time to hit the books :D I'd be getting straight A's!

Inuyasha1770 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 7:52

this seems backwards...

lsk91 3

Monday 16 August 2010 9:43

nice motivation XD

dydee 0

Saturday 28 August 2010 6:13

I think that's super cute and he obviously has your priorities and interests in mind. if only more guys were like that.

twistedsamuelle 0

Sunday 12 September 2010 23:30

I don't know what you're complaining about- how is this even an FML? You have a caring boyfriend with priorities , good grades (and motivation to GET the good grades), and you're getting laid.

ThatsWild 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 3:58

U must b mentally screwed lol

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The Top

Today, as punishment for a prank, my girlfriend has banned all forms of sex, kissing, or touching for the foreseeable future. She’s also started stripping as soon as she gets home and walking around in just her thong, or sometimes even completely naked, just to make my suffering worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 2 518

Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 336

You deserved it 5 516

The Top

Today, I learned that you should never ask your 11 year-old daughter to read a text for you while you’re driving. She read a text from a girl I had a one-night stand with on New Year's Eve, demanding why I never called her again. Yes, my wife was also in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 5 582

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight because I bought two new makeup palettes. He ranted that I have too much already, it all looks the same, and that I’m a hoarder. Last month he threatened to break up with me for throwing out condiments that were two years past their expiration dates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 238

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 562

You deserved it 236

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me that I appear to have gained some weight. After realizing that it made me feel depressed, he tried to make me feel better by making love to me. I decided to go with it. While doing so, he paused and said, "I'm sorry baby, but your weight is too much pressure for my back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 661

You deserved it 8 692

Today, I downloaded Hinge for the first time, only to have the first guy I match with to tell me, "I can’t wait to breed you and to knock you up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 275

Today, I received a drunken prank call from a girl I didn't know around 1am. I don't know what's sadder, that I carried out the conversation for 30 minutes, or that this was the first girl to call me in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 529

You deserved it 2 956