Basically the same comment as #9 and 15 negative votes so far. To those who gave a negative vote to #40: In my humble opinion a man losing a fight against 15 year old is not as bad as a son committing armed robbery. But OP indicated that he would be less humiliated (or even proud) if his son won that fight.

Psychologist *** I've never corrected spelling or grammar... But that was pretty bad.

thanks for correcting....it was a typo, no matter how bad my english is i wouldnt reach that xD

Not really - it was just a typo, as opposed to a lot of the horrendous spelling I see on this site

Oh sorry. English is bad enough as a first language... You did well;)

#43 - he's certainly not a "kid", plus I don't even need to explain why the whole "this generation/ kids these days blablabla" is bull**** as you'd only have to take your ignorant head out of sensationalist media and look around to see why for yourself.

I think 43 was being sarcastic...

It's brave of you to admit that it was probably your fault, OP, but I disagree. My grandmother raised 4 children, and 3 out of 4 of them ended up very successful. She was a wonderful mother, but her oldest son had no ambition and had dropped out of high school after having to repeat 8th grade three times. He's been in and out of jail ever since and is in his 40's now. It was your son's own choices that got him where he is today. What i mean is that its not always the parents fault, so don't resort to blaming yourself. :)

I'm sure you tried your best to raise him well, but he was influenced by friends or Lil Wayne. Btw I was joking about the gender of the couple :D

It may not be your fault completely. My dad had 3 other siblings all four of then came out successful. My mom how ever had two. My mom and dad married young and she got with the good crowd and stayed good, because they all were raised good. My aunt stayed with the good for a bit but her personality has always caused her to rush into everything. My uncle was good, but lost a close friend in a freak train accident. He then turned to drugs and is now a janitor. They all have kids and jobs but out of my moms three she is the most successful. I think it comes with upbringing, but also the people they stay around and the mistakes they make on their own later on in adult hood.

He's been involved in illegal activities since he was 17 years old. He's 32 now and you have only just now reached the final straw? While I agree that sometimes even the best parents can wind up with kids that break the law, it sounds like you've been unwittingly enabling his behavior for years. While your life definitely sucks, you also kinda deserve it for it taking this long for you to have your fill of his nonsense.

He's 32. He is responsible for his own actions.

hey dude. sometimes you just get a bad apple. my mom tried her best with my half bro. but hes a douche. She is a great Mother. and I'm not a major sucess story myself. but I work, have morals and lead a pretty good damn life. maybe you made some mistakes along the way. but ultimately its HIS choice. he's a grown person. Thats what I tell my mom when she starts feeling guilty about her son. HE made the choice. Good luck to you and I wish you the best.

You can only do so much for a child before they grow their own wings and leave. Your son is 32 years old, HE is the one at fault.

#53 You dont know that she was enabling him... She's a mother showing love is in our blood. But we are also capable of tough love which is hard to do with our sons. That's very strong of her to turn away a troubled son who jusy wont learn. No mother ever wants to have to do that regardless of the age. Good job OP for finally having the strength to say no even if it took you a while to get there.

53-- shut up! u just sound ignorant.

Don't sweat it OP. My brother, sister, and I are all completely different. It truly does depend on the group of people you hang out with. My parents are divorced and my sister chose to basically outcast my dad from her life and she's the quiet one that's a little socially awkward. My brother ha started smoking pot because that's the kind of people he hangs out with. He recently turned 18 and I found out from my friend that he buys cigarettes and other things for friends. Both him and I are in honors classes in high school and are both very smart. My sister failed 7th grade for not showing up for school and got put into a program so she can't be failed for not going to school. I'm the only truly athletic kid out of the bunch. I play soccer, run track, bowl(not really a true sport), and wish I could play ice hockey. I'm a 16 year old girl and very ambitious compared to my siblings. Everyone is different and it's not based ONLY off the parents. Sorry for the long comment but I wanted to get who we are out there to show how different kids can get.

OP, the person on trial is your son, not you. Every day people raised in the worst circumstances rise above their upbringing and become some of the worlds most successful people. the credit is theirs and theirs alone. however, if someone turns out bad the first thing society does is blame the parent(s) the credit is still with the person. we are all responsible for our own life choices.

Good parenting there. Edit: by which I mean genuinely in reply to her comment, not sarcastically in reply to the general fml.

All you can do is teach your kid and give them tools to make good decisions and hope for the best. Many people came from good homes and took wrong turns. Many came from horrible homes and turned out fine.

That's great you didn't give in OP! You are right he needs to learn his lesson! And don't be to hard on yourself, in the end it's up to the child what they want to do with their life. I have seen some very successful people have horrible childhoods. I have also seen spoiled rotten kids who still haven't left their parents house in their mid 30's. So it's not all the parents fault. And as our own person we have a free will and we CHOSE how our life is going to be...

Where is his father in all this

I agree with the other supportive, intelligent posters. You can only do so much as a parent. Everyone makes mistakes. My 3 siblings and I were all raised the same, strict religious upbringing. We all turned out differently. My sister is "perfect", my brothers struggled and had drug related issues well into their 20'as but are awesome men now in their 30's. I went through. Rough patch from 20-27 and I'm good now. We all have to learn our own lessons. You've drawn the line now and that's what matters. Love him but don't enable. That's all you can do. :)

Don't blame yourself for a grown man's poor choices. Remember this (paraphrased) Chinese proverb: Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Hey OP! Don't blame yourself! Some kids just... turn out wrong. I'm a responsible, functional adult, but my 25 year old brother lives with my parents, gambles away the little money he earns doing cleaning jobs for people (he hasn't held a real job with a paycheck in years), and is a conspiracy theory nutjob. My boyfriend is also a responsible, functional adult, and his 13 year old brother is a psychotic little terror who got kicked out of school when he was nine and has been home-schooled ever since. There's only so much that you, as a parent, can do. You can't control every influence that your child comes across.

#59 it's a man.

The fact that you didn't encourage his behavior by bailing him out tells me that it is NOT your fault, OP. Sometimes people just do what they want regardless of what anyone else says. I have seen this from personal experience: my younger sister is 19 and has been in all sorts of legal trouble and barely graduated high school. My other sister and I are very much law-abiding citizens, and I am paying my own way through college and my sister (not the delinquent) is taking higher level math classes than I am (and she's 12). We were all raised exactly the same way. Yes, some parents don't do as much as they should, resulting in kids who don't know how to obey the law. But sometimes when the parents teach, the kids choose not to listen. I'm sorry that you're having to go through this, OP, and that some people on this website are ignorant assholes. I wish you all the best.

Op, don't be so hard on yourself. At 32, he can make his own decisions. Parenting can only do so much, children are influenced by those around them. Trust me, I'm 14 and can tell. My mom is great, and yet my older brother has been caught on drugs and dropped out of college, went back and did again. Then my sister got a masters and has a house, and I hopefully the same route, already making plans. As a parent you are bound to make a mistake, nobody's perfect. Your son if now in his time of need and you should help. Bail him from jail? No. When he gets out, try to get him a job and do anything you can. You can only bring a horse to water, you can't make it drink.